yann ni's discLosuRe secret...

2012, for me

2012-01-03T17:49:00.005+08:00

I don't know how should I start with this post; just feeling contradict.

I had a rather unexpected start of year 2012; did something I would never allow myself to do, yet I did it. Same, not going to further explain on that; secret to be kept myself forever.

Just one thing, I guess I would never be the same now onwards.

You?

Be Good, everyone.

My only resolution in 2012.

My one week in KL

2011-10-22T00:23:00.008+08:00

An impromptu conversation with old secondary schoolmate reminded me about my long-forgotten blogging habit.

Life been busy lately? Hmm, not really..

I guess I've been spending fun time lepak with my colleague plus no internet access at rental room led to current laziness in blogging.

Well, don't question me about my leisure to write the post here today because I'm in "recovery mode" this week in KL due to epi-lasic surgery that I've gone through last Saturday. (P/S: Yes, I'm prettier now. =P)

Okay, done for the update. Here come the sentimental part.

Have been lazily spending my so called recovery week in KL; addicted to FB game for the first time (by the way, Maplestory Adventures is really superb! Try it if you think you have some spare time to spend, but warn you for not getting addicted like me.. ><); try browsing through some information in the internet about new gadget and travel information, and bla bla bla (hopefully my boss won't see this.. huhu)

There was a point of time where I tried to recall the last time spending in front of computer playing games forgetting night and day, and I realized.. Form 3 until now.. 8 years. This MapleStory really made me can't sleep well at night, neither do I eat well in the day.

Just done a quick check in Cambridge Dictionary, game.. is an exciting activity or sport, especially one played by children, or the equipment needed for such an activity. Well, this is probably why I've abandoned gaming for so long, it has been deemed as "wasting time", "non-productive", "zero-knowledge-beneficial"-kind of activity.

I guess I've so used to tell myself to spend time wisely.

He used to tell that I've been too serious in life. And I agreed indeed. I hate sports because it's tiring yet not gaining you any penny or brain juice. Oh well, you can say is healthy. Then I would probably tell you "Come on' do some stretching when you get up in the morning will get you enough health!" (Okok, I know I'm sarcastic.) The same reasons applied to why I hate gaming.

All right, writing this long post is not intended to tell you that I finally found the "true beauty" of gaming and encourage you to go with it, but just sharing my thoughts for being too obsessed in becoming a real perfect homo sapien until forgetting to enjoy life for the past years.

Gaming and sports are fun and I'm exploring.

And you, please don't get yourselves more excuses like mind-challenging or just-for-relax and addicted to gaming, spend more time to increase knowledge by reading too! As what I'm doing.. (=D.. go one big round just to compliment myself.. >.<)

Ok, done for the joke and bullshXt.

Everyone has their way of living, sharing mine as I found it's the best for me.

What about you?

Probably a good question to ask yourselves.

"Do I walk fast enough to catch the society's pace, yet slow enough to enjoy the view along the way?"

27-Aug-2011

2011-08-27T03:47:00.004+08:00

Woke up early in the morning can't really fall back asleep. Missing somebody.

Looking at the fb cheering the success, yet I wasn't the first who cheers for him, neither do I the first to know what failure has been gone through by him.

Am I comparing?

Just wondering how would you feel if you were always the last to know about me and everything happened on me through fb.

Simple question: Would you feel appreciated?

No, I didn't feel appreciated.

- With sadness in Beijing -

Last update before 25 years old

2011-08-13T10:44:00.003+08:00

Repeated this song during the flight to Paris over and over again.. So nice.. Enjoyed the loneliness of taking the flight.

Talked to one of the colleague about her trip to Norway for training. She said she appreciated the 3 months period where she got the chance to really live by herself and think for herself. She kind of realize her direction of life during the 3 months time. Great, isn't it? I always admire people can have a clear mind on what they want to be few years down the road because I don't, perhaps.

Anyway, the feeling of uncertainties vanished this few weeks; I guess the transition period has over, started to get some grabs on what to perform as a decent employee. Gained my patience a lot for work-related matter too. One step at a time, hopefully will lead me to where I'm supposed to be in life.

Bye for now.

Take care everyone on health, especially Hsiang (waiting for you to drive me karaoke!).

- Yann Ni -

给妈妈最好的礼物

2011-05-11T21:49:00.185+08:00

看了最近闹得沸沸扬扬的女霸风云，我突然有感而发。。

前提，如果您还不知道发生什么事，可以看看一些的片段。。。

伤心痛心，不是吗？真得很想当场立刻现身现场帮她解围。。

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当大家很热切的讨论着该送什么母亲节礼物给自己心爱的妈妈时，我却觉得也许我们都忽略了，其实我们还有一份最好的礼物可以送她们，也是一份她们最渴望的一份礼物；那就是做好自己。

单看以上的事件。。

1）女霸：如果她曾几何时的想过，应该如何好好用行动来答谢自己的妈妈，努力的求学，卖力地去充实自己，她或许会更骄傲。

2）受害者：如果她曾几何时的想过，她妈妈知道她被欺负会很难过，所以非要坚强的反抗，顽强的去证明给自己的妈妈看，如果哪天她的女儿受委屈了，女儿仍然可以不屈不挠的活下去；比起忍气吞声，默默受到他人的凌辱，她或许会更安慰。

3）校方：如果您们身为别人的父母，知道自己的女儿被伤害了，上门投诉时又被说是因为自己的女儿智商比别人低的话，应该怎样向自己的妈妈交待自己没能照顾好她的孙女呢？

4）旁观者：如果你曾几何时的想过，自己的妈妈或许会认为那群女生做错了，与其用言论去伤害她们，她却更希望自己的女儿可以学会，得绕人处且饶人的道理；因为她们知道身为父母的，要管教好子女并不简单，许多事情到最后别人常常会说时父母的错，说是没家教的小孩。

教育部的决定，我赞同。也许你们都觉得我傻了，只是停学并不能真正的惩罚她们。但是，回头想想，人谁无过？又或许你会觉得说她们的错也未免太大了吧？！不过，再认真的想想，当我们还小的时候，我们分辨得出那个错是大，那个错是小吗？那个叛逆，疯狂，不懂事的我们会懂得相处之道吗？自己岂不是也一样想威风吗？有谁在中学时期就觉得应该真真切切，踏踏实实地过生活呢？很坦白地说，那时候的我觉得自己是全世界最厉害的人。难道你没有吗？那一丝丝的年少轻狂？

总结，如果你还在烦恼要如何回报父母的爱，请记住，做好你自己，因为那会是给他们最棒的礼物。　

Transition stage

2011-04-28T20:34:00.000+08:00

Here I am to blogger again..

The night before my last paper, I laid down for almost 5 hours before I dozed off. I have the sudden urge to get up and write a blog. It's seem to be very long time since I wrote something very very sentimental, ain't I?

Miss the feeling sitting in front of laptop typing to blurt out everything in my mind...

Hmm.. how should I put this? Saw everyone getting so excited about the last paper in uni life and graduation, I somehow couldn't even feel it. Instead, I'm pretty down.

Seriously, maybe this is the so called transition stage in life. A stage where no longer student life but working life; no longer friends but colleagues; no longer result but performance, no longer a kid but an adult, no longer be responsible solely to my own, but my family and the whole company.

Great burden soon to lay on my shoulder. Will I have the strong arm for it? Will I meet own expectation? Will I survive in the society? Will I...

Yea, I think I'm scared, afraid of changes; as everyone does.

Just hope that I will be alright in short time.

I'm Single.

2011-02-25T17:15:00.001+08:00

Well, many friends saw my status in fb and started to ask for the reason I broke up with him. Let me just put a full stop over here so that everyone won't question again on my decision.

No, a big no here is that I'm not going to tell what's the reason behind. And No, another big no is that our relationship was blew off isn't because of the presence of 3rd party. Don't simply speculate from what I previously blogged, that's just story of my friends.

So now, I've to say thing doesn't happen in one or two days. The decision was not made out of sudden. I can only say that relationship thingy is really just not up for us to control. Old problems couldn't be solved and new problems came. Argument off then quarreling came.

Aih.. I really don't want to get everyone involved in this, but I think I have the responsibility to let my friends and family and of cause his family know about this. Am I making it too big? Maybe some of you might think so, but I just want to say I think my friends who concern about this has the right to know my current situation and mood. If you really wish me to be good, please, don't ever approach me and ask me for the reason; please, don't ever approach me and question me for the decision; and please, don't ever approach me and ask if I'm okay.

I'm okay for now and guess I'll be okay too. Thanks everyone. =)

第三者

2011-02-23T22:20:00.001+08:00

晚上8点，拿开耳机不听音乐，一个人从房间走在上课的路上，望着稍暗的天空，才恍然大悟，原来已经很久没跟自己聊天了；吵杂的音乐或电台主持人的访谈不知不觉已陪伴了我两个月来上课的路程。

最近身边出现了不少《第三者》的爱情故事，让我不禁的感叹，其实爱。。到最后，到底算什么？

爱上已有另一半他/她，有错吗？

听到了别人的故事，我很淡然；

只是淡淡的告诉‘背叛的人’，爱了就是爱了，我们并控制不了；

也默默地告诉“被背叛的人”，不爱了就是不爱了，我们决定不了；

因为爱不是一个人的事，是两个人。

如果没缘份，再等几年，他/她还是会离开你的；

如果有缘分，在过几年，他/她还是会回来的。

梁静茹说：

她只是最最无辜的第三者；

就算他消失此刻告诉我能得回什么呢？

责怪她又凭什么呢？

她只是无意闯入的第三者，我们之间的困难在她出现之前就有了；

虽然我愤怒但是我明白的，把过错让她去背着，那是不对的

爱情在黄昏的时候，才让人了解原来已错过了许许多多该努力，该珍惜的时候。

Luck

2011-02-08T17:20:00.000+08:00

So far, I've to say I got lots of lucks in my life..

I've been thinking about this long ago, when others think how brilliant I am, being able to get through everything and come to this stage, I've to say, purely luck; maybe protection by GuanYim.

I think it's about 2 years ago, I suddenly thought of this.

I seem to have everything I want in my life to be completed as planned, but does it really as scheduled?

Internship in Japan. During the interview, there were lots of candidates with better result and qualification than I did. I believe I was chosen because I confronted the lecturer. I questioned him the reason why female can't be accepted? Why did sexuality become one of the considerations during selection? Few days gone and I got the call from him, just nice Fuji Electric is comfortable with female intern, and so I was accepted. Luck, isn't it?

Exchange to Canada. Don't talk about the chances to be accepted as exchange student, you can get it if you go for interview! Serious! So just talk about Canada itself. I was at first being selected to go for exchange programme in Australia which happened to be my 2nd choice, then my sister asked me to look for another country which is further away where I'll experience a totally different culture. And so, I called to the officer and requested for a change. Just nice that one of my coursemate gave up the placement and I took over his place. Another luck, isn't it?

Internship in Accenture. Seriously, thank god really for this! As known, getting into Accenture is not an easy business, but I was just at the right timing to enter as intern. The internship period of mine over there was the time frame where no university is opening for internship. I just caught the right time to enter, the time where not many competitive candidates available for that position. Luck still, isn't it?

Schlumberger, the company that I've dreaming for. Miracle happens once again. The time for me to get some job hunting done, Schlumberger set up a subsidiary company over here in Penang. They even went over to our campus to look for candidates. Huhu, Luck again?!

Tell me tell me, if all these are not luck and bo bi from Guan Yim, what does it call?

For you, ZiMin..

2011-01-18T00:59:00.000+08:00

Hgm.. It had been 3 years time spending in the same room with you, kinda miss you actually.

Got back into room recently, of course I still do have few little cute and young roomies, but I don't know, somehow they can't really give me what you had given me previously. Perhaps mentality that makes the different. Orh, don't misunderstand me, they are mature, just not as mature as we are. hehe..

Thinking back, we really had great time. From stranger to roomie, then from roomie to close friend, from close friend to old friend.. arh.. I still can recall the first day I met with you in our old old room! The super clean and thin roomate from Johor who claims that UTM is not as good as USM. haha..

These nights I'm thinking what actually made me feel so good to stay with you...

I think it's your concern.

Heard few cough from me, you'll ask me if i'm sick.

I think it's your caring.

Sleep earlier than usual time, you'll ask me if i'm tired.

I think it's your chariness.

Lesser words and smiles from me, you'll ask if i'm sad.

I think it's your...

Countless reasons, zimin...

Suddenly thought of, yea.. I never express my appreciation to had you as my roomie and have you as my old buddy..

So take this chance to thank you, zimin.

Thanks for coming into my life.

Thanks for being a caring, kind, clean and good roomie.

Thanks for everything.

Today is Saturday..

2011-01-15T19:56:00.002+08:00

Due to the interruption of electricity in the hostel from 9am - 6pm, I made my plan to get USM express bus to downtown, Parit Buntar for a shopping trip!

Mr Driver

I was actually planning to get some transparent plastic bags to keep my samples, but ended up buying other stuffs instead. =.='

First destination, Billion. Hgm.. what I've got from Billion is a secret as it's something personal.. hehe.. But there's something I would like to show you guys, I was kinda impressed by the concept that Billion just lauched! They are sososo GREEN now. They indeed banned the usage of plastic bags during Saturday, and replaced it with paper bag! Amazing!

Total amount: RM19.90

ugly yet environmental friendly paper bag

Anyway, also thanks to the trip to Billion (the BIGGEST market in Parit Buntar), I got more CNY feel now! CNY music, CNY hamper, CNY decoration inside.. woohoo, CNY is near!!!

Then, with the CNY happy mood, I went all the way to Watson at the far corner there and I spent around 1 hour time there buying stuffs as below.. >< that includes, mascara, lip gloss, foundation, make up powder, box of mask, make up removal, nose pore strip, and eye lashes clipper..

Total amount: RM183.

tropies of shopoholic!

Also, got a little passport from Watsons cost RM12.00, lifetime membership with couple of coupons.

Last but not least, always not forget to tapao my favorite chicken rice with bittern egg.. Yummy!

Total amount: RM3.60

Got back campus around 12.30pm. After clearing all the stuffs already 2pm, and it's time for practicing again!

After got back from music room, stayed over at cafe to online till 4.30pm.

Got room to settle down then went out for jogging till 6pm.

Electricity then came back just right on time! Hurray!

Expensive yet meaningful Saturday. Can I have another one again? =D

Is all about Civilization!

2011-01-05T23:28:00.003+08:00

There's always one thought in my mind, everything happened all because of civilization!

I often signed when I entered most of the washroom in M'sia and saw the queue. To be frank, I don't blame them for waiting right in front of the toilet cubicle and not starting the queue at the very entrance of washroom. Often enough, there's only one thought, M'sia is still lacking of civilization.

I felt irritated too when I saw anyone lament over racist issue, complaining how unfair M'sia is. Yes, I don't put any blame on them either. Again, I think that's because of civilization.

Every modern society has been through the tough time before they reached the stage of Civilization. And I strongly believe that M'sia is on its way.

So what's that about civilization?

For me, it's an education; it's a habit; it's a mindset.

Civilian ought to be educated on the right things to do and think, make it as a habit and eventually planted deep down their mindset.

How can that be possibly happen?

It actually starts from you and me.

Let me give some examples on that,

1. If you were driving on the road, is congested all the way to the destination and you're in rush; you saw some cars driving on the emergency lane, and since you're late..

Mind: "others do, so I also do lor.."

2. Another simple action, taking escalator. If you were in bunch of friends, or even you were with your counterpart, you might stand side-by-side so that can talk to each other in a much comfy way.

Mind: "aiya, in front people also blocking me lar, if i just stand by a side, still no one can pass by"

3. Taking train. Saw huge crowd waiting and train only come in interval of 20mins, when train reached, you'll try your best to squeezed in the train by pushing people in front, or you might try to sneak in from space here and there without letting the people inside the train to disembark first.

Mind: "let's get in anyhow, else i'm going to wait another 20mins!"

4. Racist. Kept complaining that M'sia is unfair. Condemn other races.

Mind: "I have to voice out my thoughts, it's my right! We shouldn't keep quiet anymore."

and etc.

So, if there were enough education from previous generation or government:

1. We would have known we might kill someone in the ambulances or delay the rescue process of firefighter if we were to use the emergency lane at jamming area. And it's not about, you do so I do.

2. We would have known it's all about manners. Others did that or not, we don't because it's not alright to do so.

3. We would have known everyone should have some discipline. Another 20mins of waiting will just invoke your impatience, but squeezing and pushing people will lead to injury, kids and old folks especially.

4. We would have known that complaining and condemning are not the proper way to solve any problem, neither to reach any consent. Offering solution and communication are indeed the solution.

and etc.

Yeah, if you were complaining that why M'sia is so lacking behind, so please do your move right now, we are educated enough to prove to others that we've evolved.

You and me can change it. Take the initiative. And yes, I've done my part and I'm still doing.

You?

Immature

2011-01-04T16:16:00.002+08:00

Just got the mood to pour out my thoughts..

Often enough, I asked myself, what's the real meaning of being together.

There was a time, I doubted. Are all the couples out there really that happy? Are all the families out there really living together that harmony?

There's an old Chinese idiom saying that "家家有本难念的经 (every family has its cupboard)", every family has their own problem, every couple has their issue..

I once argued with Lin, what does "friend" meant to her? Because if she has problem, she won't tell, but I felt sad because I always thought that that's the responsibility of friend; lending a helping hand whenever you need it.

Same principle to be applied in my relationship. "Being together" meaning sharing the good one, and bearing the bad one together too.

I am grown in a family where my mother was the only one that support the family, I can never understand the hard time she had been through, because it's really a tough one. So, I told myself that I'm not gonna let this happen on me.

I ever thought of maybe it's better if I could live by myself, so I wouldn't have to think about all these relationship problem, but just mind my own business. Not until recently, I started the relationship with him, I know there're a lot of things that I ought to learn so that this would be a healthy relationship.

I called whenever I was happy or sad, because of the "sharing and bearing" principle.

I sms whenever I was boring or lonely, because of the "sharing and bearing" principle.

I posted on his wall whenever I felt like doing it, because of the "sharing and bearing" principle.

But it seems..

It's interesting.

After all, apparently not everyone is having the same pace in thoughts.

Human vs needs, because of the physical distance, someone can be taken as replacement.

Negative person, because always called to tell unhappy thing.

Fuck! word that you would never say to me previously.

I had a great chat. It's really eye-opening.

Guess I'm still immature for you, as always.

Where're my friends?

2011-01-04T08:44:00.002+08:00

Getting back campus for few days, feeling bit sad for the changes.

Get down the road, but know no one.

Walk around the campus, but greet no one.

I've to say I lost my sense of belonging..

Where're all my friends? Where're all the familiar acquaintances?

I miss you all.

Miss the pillow talk with Hsiang, Tjen, Juen & Yen.

Miss the pondok gossip time with Khai Ling, Tata, Jing Jing, Foo-san, Li Yoon, Cheryl and Xiao Mei.

Miss the car pool to AutoCity with Kit, Gong and Huang.

Can you guys quit the job and come back for Master just for one semester?

Here I am again..

2010-11-26T03:53:00.000+08:00

It's late at night, but couldn't fall asleep. Pretty tired, mentally.

It's been a while, I'm actually thinking to have a trip alone, somewhere peaceful and calm, no disturbance, to settle down myself. Quite some time, I forget to talk to myself; forget to ask myself what do I really want in my life; even forget to do regular self-evaluation every night before sleep. Wake up early in the morning, go to work, OT, back from work, sleep then wake up again... then routine never stop. Don't misinterpret me, I do enjoy my working environment cause there're bunch of great colleagues and bosses.

But it's quite pathetic sometimes, isn't it? Any girls, name it, when someone came into her life, they changed drastically. Alright, I admit that I realize the direction of my blog tends to move towards lovey dovey area instead of self-awareness thoughts, which happened to be my preferred style. Promise myself to spend more time instead of blindly utilizing it for work and love.

Ain't gonna talk more, but just would like to drop few words over here to prove the world that I'm still alive.

Will be back soon... Take care everyone..

About getting married

2010-10-24T22:06:00.003+08:00

There was the day when I was doing my stuff, I forget how we actually started the conversation, but Adrian (my 22 years old cute colleague) asked me,

A: 'Yann Ni, what age do you think is the most suitable one to get married?'

Y: 'It depends, see if your girlfriend is family-driven or career-driven.'

A: 'Orh, what if family-driven?'

Y: 'Hmm.. Maybe 24 - 26?'

A: 'Wah, are you serious Yann Ni?'

Y: 'Then what age do you think you would like to get married with her?'

A: '...'

Y: 'Maybe I should ask you did you ever think of to get married with her?'

A: '...'

Y: 'SHIT.. if you never think of it, why you are now with her?'

(I know I'm rude, but that's really my natural response at the moment)

A: ' That's why Yann Ni! I think I'm wasting her time. I don't know if I'm the right person for her.'

Y: 'Hey, Adran. See, you can't think this way. If you doubt you weren't the right one, you are actually blaming her to love the wrong one. Both of you love each other because of who both of you are. If you say you weren't the right one, you are indirectly saying that she loves the wrong one. You get me?'

A: 'True. True. But I don't know Yann Ni. I don't think to get married that young. Still never think of it.'

Y: 'I understand. Guy wants freedom, still prefer enjoying life, isn't it?'

A: '... Not really enjoy, but about fulfillment. I want to get my career first.'

Y: 'Ya, Adrian. You may go ahead to build your career but do you know girl can't wait? Is really a fact that girls' market value will drop as we grow older, but not for you guys. You guys are gaining your career, confidence and market value as time passes.

A: 'True Yann Ni. That's why I don't know la.'

Y: 'See, Adrian. I read one of my friend's (Jomay) blog the other day. She talked about marriage too. I have quite a consent towards her concept of marriage. She said in her blog that the right time to get married is the time when I can't live without you and neither you can without me, it isn't the time when you get your career and financial established and think oh yea maybe is "time-for-me-to-give-her-back-something" or "time-that-I-can-make-her-living" then you get married with her.'

A: '...'

Y: 'Do you really communicate with your girlfriend and discuss about this?'

A: 'She told me, but I'm a close person. I don't really tell her about myself.'

Y: 'Not good Adrian. Both of you need to communicate, else the relationship will worsen, you know?'

A: '...'

The conversation ended when another colleague came to office.

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Yesterday, coincidently two of the 988 DJs get married and I was over the radio in the train on my way to office. Those DJ were discussing marriage too.

DJ A: 'Chinese idom said, "先成家后立业 (career settles after marriage). So we should just go with marriage before career.'

DJ B: 'But you see monetary problem will invariably be the major problem of any family, so don't you think it's better if both of the individuals have their career established before marriage?'

(after some discussion which I've mostly forgotten)

DJ A: 'Maybe we should put it this way. So it's better if both of the individuals have the financial capability (not career, it could be just a stable job), then only starts to enter a marriage.

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Recently, I also just done reading a book from 陶晶莹 named 我爱故我在. Few points from her also brought me into deep sea of ponder about marriage.

She said, 'Stay young in relationship. Don't spend your time like husband-wife during this period, cause we'll have plenty of time to do that after getting married. Enjoy your time being young, go crazy and go wild.'

She also said, 'Don't enter marriage if you haven't ready. It isn't about financial or what, but mentally. If you don't have the great patience and huge tolerance, please don't talk about getting married.'

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That's about the history.

If you were to ask me how do I think about marriage. Frankly speaking, no further thoughts anymore.

Yea, is anymore. Thought of it before but sooner and later I realized, maybe I'm still incapable to do so cause I'm yet to equip with those crucial criteria to be the backbone of any future-to-be family, to be the great supporter to my husband-to-be, to be good counselor to my son-to-be and of cause caring daughter-in-law to my parents-in-law-to-be, lots and lots of considerations came.

Anyway, I started to gather my thought about marriage. Now, getting married or not is just something extra in the relationship.

The important part is,

Does he or she think of to be together with you in the future?

Or in another word,

Does he or she put you in their future planning?

that's the only thing that matter, at least for me, for now.

JIMUI ROCKZ!

2010-10-20T22:20:00.005+08:00

A conversation during Sunday outing, my jimui asked me to introduce someone from Accenture to them. After thinking for long time, I found my choice and so I really threw the question to one of my colleagues if he has nice friends around to recommend. Thank GuanYim, he gave me one. And so, I sent a message to all my jimui regarding this, let's see all the replies from them.

Me:

This one ngam bo?

please choose, jimui!!~

1. from accenture

2. from reliable resource

let me know asap..

wuahahahah...........................

(p/s: facebook link to the recommended one)

wat happen ar??? recommend bf? muahahahahah!!!

Me:

ya la.. H.. tat day outing with W and K.. we talked bout this.. W asked me to recommend someone form Accenture.. then must know how to speak cantonese/chinese ma (cos W said hor, later if watch Stephen chow movie, nobody laugh together with her wor.. lol) so i asked around lor my colleague see got ren xuan bo, then my colleague recommended me him.. hahahahahahah.. i gave W's fb to him oso dy!!! i m crazy, i know... huahahahahah.

hahah!!! good job!!! he c dao W's fb, sure wil lum her!!!!

Me:

hahaha.. maybe another CW? ngek ngek... later W must scold me gao gao one i gave away her fb.. but no worry han, ur turn soon.. wait till i get more options first..

hahahha.. i wan usm de can ar...

Me:

hahaha.. usm cheapsek wor.. u sure u wan meh? accenture higher salary.. luxury life ler!!

yahor yahor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i forgot tis pt pulak!!!!!!!!

u faster find some1 very ngam key with us de!!~~

yup reserve one for me too lar...

Me:

okok.. sure sure my dearest jimui.. hahaha

Ni, u really do thattttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, i'll kill u lo, give me fb to him!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha, can't see his face clearly...

oh, he's from sandakan ah?

gonna move to sandakan lo? yer, i dun wan..

i want stay kl...

Me:

wei W ar.. u so demanding ler.. aiyo.. then H or B, both of u wan this? i give ur fb to him then.. lol..

haha, B and H sure want lohhh.... :P

haha, but not bad la him, si si man man...

Me:

hahaa.. u sure u dun wan ar? later zao gai how?

wei, totally ng sik him, how to decide want or not?

must be start from friend 1st mah..

u dun so hao kam la... haha

ou u la W... u r (sensored) den don deny la!,hahhaa

jiajia, later sandakan u also wan follow...

W, we will visit you at sandakan.. dont worry =p

i dun wan to stay in sandakan, no entertainment there...

i'll fat mou!!!!

2 people entertain each other lo. muahahhaha~

W, say dao u d marry thr, somemore, hau kam tis word, is me created for u de1!!

Me:

hahaha.. Y.. i like ur idea! cool babe!

za, i speechless...

Ni, u should bring out few guys intro to us mah...

just 1 only, later we all grab till fighting, then how?

satu tak cukup makan la..

Me:

haha.. no worry W.. i oredi told my fren about this, he is HUNTING for more friends to intro.. wuahahaha.

don't just talk only, no action...

hahahaha...

Me:

aiyo.. man man lai.. hou liu cam guai dai! give some time for my frens to accumulate database first lar.. ^o^

ni la mama sang or 龟婆, hard selling us..W, don't pretend la...some more saying..face too small can't see..means u have the intention to grab him la...hahaa..W, stay in sandakan not bad, consider la...no more boat after passing by SuZhou la...haha

Me:

hahahahahaha.. no more boat after passing by SUZHOU!!! great translation K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha..i got a shock after seeing this long conversation...was laughing to myself and thinking..what kind of think face friends i am having.. X )

Me:

K, i laugh all the way too!!!

K, we're not thick face..

We must socialize more.. but at the same time hunting.. haha

Me:

hahaha.. HUNTING.. yea HUNTING.. nowadays must more zhu dong dy.. we need to admit that we are not young liao!

W, look at the long conversation here..it's showing that our conversation skill/ socialising level if good..Ni, ok..no problem..wait for your invitation then

Ni, we're just 24...

Still 20s...

Still very young..

Don't worry..

Haha, i keep hypnotizing myself..

TO BE CONTINUED~~~

Hope you enjoy our conversation.. and yea we are crazy!!

Bear in mind, though I know it sounds not convincing but I also would like to let you know we are all nice and quiet girls.

Any candidates available would like to know any of my jimui?

^o^

Sappy songs

2010-10-15T23:06:00.002+08:00

Don't know if you guys have the same feeling before? Feeling to cry when listen to some songs, out of no reason. Recently there are 2 songs that brought me into this trap that I can hardly escape, i.e. Yesterday Once More from Carpenters & 你不知道的事 from LeeHom.

Maybe it's just because I'm typical emo kind of human being, mood of mine kinda easily fluctuated by anything, but I really feel like shedding my tears every time listen to both of the songs.

Something bothering me making me sad instead of those touching songs? Maybe No? Perhaps Yes.

Black out

2010-10-03T21:18:00.001+08:00

I'm not sure how many of you experienced this before, but I just been through this hours ago.

Finished chatting with SS around 5pm, I went downstairs to grab some food. I can feel slight dizziness and fading of image through my eyes, with that I still manage to chat with my mum a while about dinner of the night and get myself a bowl of green bean soup cooked by my 2nd sister.

I can feel something, I knew I am going to lose my conscious, I sat down at the dinning table and quickly drank the soup, then told myself to have few deep breath. Yet, as time passed, I sensed image in front of me getting darker, I uttered "Mum, I feel faint". I don't know what my mum was doing at kitchen, but after a while, before things getting worst, I called again with all the energy I gathered, "Mum".

I can hear that my mum directed my sis to come over to have a look on me. My sis came over and called, 'Ni, Ni.. can you hear me? Why are your body so cold? Why your lips lost its tone? Reply me, reply your sis!' I heard her shouting and I felt her shaking my body, but I couldn't speak nor move anymore.

My sis shouted my Mum, 'Mum, come.. Ni didn't reply me.' My parents and Tola (the maid) all ran over and called my name aloud, I knew and I still felt the shaking of my body by my mum, and their nervousness, but I just couldn't respond them, even a slight one.

My mum gave me the Nestum that she made moment ago (apparently she were making the Nestum the first time I called for her help), I drank but all were vomited. My sis get the Mentos candy on table and put in my mouth, shouting aloud and asked me to chew. I chewed.

I gained my conscious a minute after that. Then they said wanna send me for checking, I said I'm fine and I can walk to the car myself. My sis armed me up. After that, I don't know what happen for 5 mins. I thought I was sleeping and I dreamed of him, he was on the other side of computer video chatting with me happily. With sudden, I heard my sis shouting again, 'Mum, I can't hold her anymore, she lost her support'. Then i gained my conscious back.

My mum pulled a chair and asked me to sit on the chair. Then I was able to talk with my mum again and told her 'I'm fine'. I sat for a while then I walked my way to the car. Reached clinic in 10mins.

According to diagnosis, I'm fine in everything but having low pulse.

Doctor said 2 possible causes that I have this sudden black out are,

1. Naturally born with low pulse. This will cause frequent black out. Along with the cardio problem that my mum is having now, I do have the high chance to inherit this from her.

2. Too hungry till blood glucose content became very low causing sudden black out. Not too convincing about this because I had heavy dinner yesterday and moderate breakfast in the morning. No lunch, but I usually skipped my lunch during workdays and I could sustain till night time 9pm.

Alright. That's all about my condition. I'm good I would say.

Just thinking of to share out my feeling during the black out. Sincerely hope that you guys wouldn't have the chance to been through this cause it's really powerless. Funny part is, the 1st thought that came into my mind when I black out is 'Die, tomorrow cannot work, need to take offday. No pay.' Then only I thought of him, the happy moments with him. I knew clearly I won't die just now, but my mind just flying around and luckily my sis's voice kept me awake. Else, I might end up overnight in hospital today.

Thinking back the moment, I felt scary too. The feeling that I was unable to control myself, unable to utter any word from my mouth, unable to put my focus on anything, and etc.

Gonna take better care of myself now. No worry, everyone. I'm doing fine. Just wish all of you will take my experience as a mirror for yourselves. Take great care of your health.

Looking Back..

2010-09-19T22:04:00.002+08:00

Back from great gathering with secondary schoolmates. Everyone changed, getting mature, getting own direction of life. Really happy to see that.

Jacklyn was the one sitting beside me on the left and Lin on the right.

Forget how we actually initiated the topic, but Jack and I somehow mentioned about my blog. I knew she has been following my blog for some times and I treat that as a little concern towards me from a good and caring friend.

With sudden, Jack said, I really like your blog, like the flow of writing.

I said, Really? Don't you think my blog is kinda emo?

Jack said, I don't think so. I read your blog from top to toe and I'm a little fans of your blog. You try to read again your post, is really good!

I said, Sometimes I think so!

Haha.. well, attention seeker plus severe narcissistic, I've to admit that Jack's compliment brought great motivation to me to write my blog.

Of cause, I also told Jack that, Actually I write blog is just to voice out my own thoughts, never knew there'll be a lot of positive feedback from readers.

Tried to read through my blog, it's already been 6.5 years since the first time I started to blog in Friendster, the 3 years latter was over here in Blogspot.

Some of my friends don't understand why I blog, as this is considered as telling others your secret publicly for them. They don't get used to be that "naked".

I've to say blogging actually helps me a lot in thinking. Help me to scrutinize every single details during writing, help me to think both dimension during composing.

Anyhow, still thanks for supporting, folks! Without the comments, without the increasing number in viewing, maybe I wouldn't have come so far.

...

2010-09-19T11:26:00.002+08:00

When phone of others rang, the other side was her bf asking her about her day, asking about her mood, my phone was still lying on the table silently.

Everyday late at night before sleep, familiar ringtone comes to my ears, Ren's calling again to chat with my sis about the day. My phone is still not giving any response.

Every morning before working; with the tiny hope to get at least a simple email or message, I woke up earlier and switch on my laptop to check. None.

Take initiative? Done. Ended up as making a tight knot on him and taking away his own time due to the frequent calling. Perhaps I'm grabbing away lots of his freedom.

Nothing much I wish to say, just finding a place to release my sadness. Sorry if I fluctuate your mood with this emotional post. Just getting more and more uncertainties as day passes.

Perhaps maybe even how determine your mind is on anything, doubt'll will come close to knock your door if there's no approbation, at least for me.

Mood of us

2010-09-17T13:47:00.000+08:00

Read a book recently. There's a saying in the book that when you're coupling with someone, then your mood isn't yours alone, but it'll be both of you. Well, I've to say I'm giving my greatest consent to it.

It's never easy to stay alone in a foreign land, a place where you would hardly find the feeling of home. It's even worst if you'll have to work during the stay. The pressure and tiredness are there on your shoulder, where you could hardly let it go. This is actually what happened on him.

He has rather moody day since arrival. Of cause it isn't because he is not capable of taking great care of himself, but it's because he did face alot of difficulties along the way. I bet I could still stand still as he is if I were to face the same situation. He is doing great I would say.

Anyhow, I'm blanketed with fog these days due to his moodiness and this is why I said I agree with the aforementioned statement. It's definitely not because he ignored me or anything that made me in such a bad mood, but it's because the worries in me that he isn't having a pleasant life.

So even with the deep yearns for him, I'm trying my best to live a good life during this period so that he need not to put extra mind on brooding for me.

Maybe I couldn't share the burden with him since we're distance apart geologically, but I just wish I could at least give him my greatest courage to go through all these.

Great day ahead, Dear. Love, as always.

Doubt!

2010-09-12T22:55:00.000+08:00

I am often deemed to be stubborn, ultimate kind. Somehow, I feel myself as though a shade easily influenced by others. Maybe just at the first response during rebutal, I would hold strong to own principle, but i always keep others' thoughts in mind and give it a thorough thinking on it after that. Eventually, I will then accept others' argument and abandone my own one.

Some people said you outght to socialize because you aren't living alone in this world, you have to communicate and accept others' opinions. Some people said you have to keep your own thoughts and not easily get influenced by others. So which is the real truth?

Butterfly Far away..

2010-09-09T16:46:00.004+08:00

Recently fond of the song Butterfly Fly Away by MIley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus.. It goes like this..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You tucked me in, turned out the light

Kept me safe and sound at night
Little girls depend on things like that

Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when I looked back

You had to do it all alone
Make a living, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be

And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me

Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry hold on tight.
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly Fly Away
Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Actually this is a song that he sent to me long time ago but you know, as always people will start to appreciate when start losing it. I never listen to it so thoroughly, not until he is far away, I can now only listen to the song he sent to pass my time, at least it serves as one of the path for me to feel that he's right beside me.

Okay.. I know you guys might start to get sicked of it, still I wish to let you guys know how far we are.. @.@

See.... Far, right? Exactly half the circumference of the globe.

Yea, my butterfly far away.

I've to say..

2010-09-07T17:29:00.000+08:00

I start missing him the moment he let go my hand and went in the departure gate..

In all things it is better to hope than to despair

2010-08-09T15:10:00.003+08:00

Is getting late.. but I'm still sitting in front of my laptop and writing this blog.

Just came back from movie with SS. Had some light supper too before heading back..

Actually nothing in my mind now, but it will take around 1 hour for him to reach home after sending me back, so being considerate, I shall waiting for him to at least step home then only go for bed. And that's why I'm still here writing..

Never thought of someone would come into my life and brought an abrupt changes.

Frankly say, be with him let me realize that I ain't good enough in many aspects. Perhaps love's really a good lesson for one to learn from. He is doing quite well in human's characterology I would say. He can predict very well on others' attitudes by first glance without knowing someone in person.

He told me recently "You want to be perfectionist but you've failed to."

You know what's the feeling when you want everything to be perfect but still there's saying (especially from someone important) that you failed to?

Anyway, I knew clearly actually I am as he said, but human will always defend themselves when any critism arises towards them at their prompt reaction. And so, I rebuted and feeling unhappy.

Then he replied, "That's why I don't like to tell you anything."

I paused and feeling even sad because instead of finding ways to let me understand better, he refrained himself from telling.

I was thinking maybe he could have a better way in giving the statement to avoid unhappiness, e.g.
"I think you want to be perfectionist but you've failed to meet to certain extent. But, different people do have different standard on it. So it's a very subjective matter. No worry, there's no real 100% perfect people in this world, that's why we live to learn, and learn to live."

Not writing this blog to condemn on him, this is just one of the tiny incident I took as an example, incidents at which I took as the mirror for myself.

When dealing with people, especially the love one (because the impact is really great); perhaps we should learn to "tell". As always, people prefer glib talk. A positive way of telling will make others feel better and motivated while a negative one frustrates others.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said "In all things it is better to hope than to despair"

Are you appreciating?

2010-07-24T00:18:00.002+08:00

People always admire me having the opportunity to have few months living in foreign lands..

They always asked me, "Nice trip not?"

The only answer that I would give, "Spending money, sure nice!"

But I knew clearly it's not only about spending money..

You know what?

When I was in Canada,

I often looked up at the sky,

and figuring out what types of trees on the street,

then observing people in the bus,

not forget trying hard to imitate their accent..

Not trying to have the scene deeply captured in mind so that I could recall better picture in the future;

Not trying to tell you guys that things are all better outside;

Not even trying to putting my weight around to let you guys know I have been to Canada..

But,

I always asked myself these question back then,

"Is the blue blue sky that I see now is the same in Malaysia? How does the sky in Malaysia looks like? Is it the same blue colour also? Why I can't remember anything related to the sky in the land that I have spent my living for almost 20+years?"

"Is the tree in Malaysia as tall as what I see now? What is the colour of the leaf? What is the shape of the leaf? Are they as greenish as what I am touching now?"

and etc..

Sad to say I couldn't answer those questions..

Not until the day I back again in Malaysia,

I looked up the sky,

I touched the tree,

I met with my friends..

I finally realized I never appreciate what I have,

but few months time outside let me learn how to,

and I am glad is still not late for me to realize that..

How about you?

Are you taking things for granted?

Take a look on the surrounding and people around you,

are you appreciating?

About him..

2010-07-05T19:37:00.001+08:00

It's been some time I last mentioned about him.

To be frank, I really resist to write anything about my love affair over here; of cause not that it's disgrace, but as you all know, I'm shy kind of lady ma.. (I know you guys wanna Boo me on the aforementioned statement, but it's fact somehow.. ^o^Y)

Anyhow, if I'm not going to write anything about him, I wouldn't be able to update my blog anymore, cause he is related to almost everything in my life now. [(@*u*@) <-- blush]

From now on, I would use SS to name him. Why? Of cause it doesn't mean Syok Sendiri, but listen carefully [ l("o")l <-- shouting] =============================> SOMEONE SPECIAL..

Not going to further discuss him because I do believe that there will be other oportunities to blog about him, but today I wish to share some thoughts since the commencement of this relationship..

Once upon a time, I used to think why my sister (Lam) acted so unreasonable when Ren came into her life,

e.g.

1. Went movie in the middle of night which is actually the best time for detoxification to ensure beauty;

2. Wasting innumerable time preparing card or present for Ren which is actually useful to equip herself some extra knowledge by reading;

3. Spending money due to frequent outing which is also actually good to be kept in bank, give to mum or put in some investment, etc..

Now, I need to admit that what she did (and is doing) are definitely legitimate when love's revolving around 2 people (because I'm doing the same. ^.^)

I used to ask T too, why she's still holding on even though her love one is kinda absurd most of the time (sorry T for bad-mouthing.. but I know you know it's fact.. hehe)

I marvelled that even she's very sad and frustrate with the relationship everytime when there's an argument between them, she still trying her very best in keeping it; which is being deemed (at least for me) rather "silly"..

Why should her let someone decide her mood of the day? How can someone control what she want to do?

She then told me..

"It's normal to have quarrelling between couple, can't easily think of breaking up once difference in thoughts happen, as long as there's love"

I nodded but vehemently opposed what she said inside my heart.

Now, I understand.

It's heart-breaking when dissension doesn't resolve;

It's gloomy when he/she doesn't greet you first in the morning or last at night;

But it's exhilarating when he/she did something so considerate,

It's delighting when he/she gave you surprise on and off,

It's also lighthearted when you wake up in the morning and you know there's someone in the world deeply in love with you.. (please don't vomit upon my true-hearted thoughts, kay?)

I feel thankful he was there and he is still here for me.

I asked the other day,

"Do you angry me for not accepting and kept you waiting for so many years?"

He answered,

"A bit, but it's fine."

I felt sorry but I grinned;

at least I didn't miss the opportunity to hold his hand tightly.

He sms me the other day also,

"I'm happy cuz i made u laugh like d way u will laugh when u chat with ur frens they all."

I didn't replied anything because I don't know what to say.

All the while, I enjoy very muh time spending together with him, I swear I'm happy.

Apparently, a tiny reaction will make huge difference to his eyes.

I knew it's because I am important in his heart.

That's why I think it's something I ought to learn..

"Two is better than One", by Boys like Girls.

I would say I finally agreed to certain extent.

Grey Zone

2010-06-25T09:16:00.001+08:00

My sis told me the other day, she was wondering why I do not have grey zone in life..

She said I am kind of extreme..

Typical examples:

Used to vomit once eating vege; but can't live without vege in every meal now..

Used to think girl doesn't need marriage; but marriage is an important leap in life for me now..

Used to be lazy in study; but feeling sorry for not studying hard enough for exam now..

etc..

I ponder for quite a long time..

Really.
I am truly extreme in many circumstances.

If I were to do something, only my best I would try, else I will blame myself for not giving out all considering the efforts that I can put..
If I were to be in any organization, I would only prefer to be president or merely a member..
etc..

I am weird, am I?

I don't know it is good or bad..
I do feel tired sometimes with all the standard I set to myself..
But, I also think that's all that kept me moving everyday..

Compare..

2010-06-15T08:59:00.004+08:00

Sometimes when I looked at myself, I found that I am nobody.

Others would already become someone's parent;

others would already making their way to their first million in life,

others would already have their target of life achived.

But, who am I and what I have done so far?

Sometimes when I looked at beggar or disable, I found that I am somebody.

Others are begging for that little penny to survive their day;

others are working day and night to secure a fat lot of foods;

others are limping, broken handed and blind.
But, I am much blessed than they are.

Chinese proverb says "人比人气死人" (comparison are odious),
I agree to certain extent;
It will rile you if you kept comparing with those being deemed to have lots of lucks,
It will annoy you if you kept thinking you are carrying out your life in much tougher manner.
Yet,
It will content you if you still got few ringgit in your pocket for your lunch in front of beggar;
It will please you if can still see the blue blue sky and listen to your favourite songs.

I believe in fate, but I also believe I can change my destiny.

I don't care if others were born in rich family,
I don't care if others were much clever than me,
what I care the most is how I could be "richer" and "cleverer" on my own,

and how much efforts I have put in everything that I am doing.

I felt pathetic too when I look at those who can travel around the world without worrying their expenses;
I felt sad too when others can score higher grade without spending much effort as I did;
But,
I told myself, as my mum used to tell me,
Just try your best.
As long as you have tried, you will get more than those who didn't.

And, I have a deep consent to it.

中华危机

2010-06-12T08:34:00.001+08:00

“我的旧校友，如果知道中华将被某些贪图利益的人弄垮，你会怎么做？再给那条“蛇”在学校横行霸道，中华将要没救了！请救救我们的母校！”

相信蛮多人在面子书看到了我的呼吁，但是为了让大家更了解发生了什么事，我决定在这里让大家知道的更多，因为你们都有知道的权利。

学校，应该是一个学习的地方。
学生，应该是获得最多知识的人。
老师，也应该是尽心尽力为了学生的利益，不松懈且耐心教导的人。

在学校里，
不应该有金钱上的纷争，
不应该有利益上的冲突，
不应该有勾心斗角的老师，
也不应该有为了自己的前途，在背后放冷箭的上司。

很不幸的，中华却有着这样的“蛇”，
而且她是牺牲了许许多多在中华曾经贡献过几十年的老师的背来上位的。

也许大家不知道，现在在中华的华人老师已经所剩无几，
一些非常资深的老师为了中华，也豁出去了，
但是还是被那条“毒蛇”赶走了，
同样是黄皮肤的，她却为了自己，把学校那些默默付出的老师都赶走。

你们知道吗？
现在中六大部分都是临教在教，这样的中六，还能要吗？

如果你想要知道更多，我很乐意回答，
至于谁是那条“蛇”，探听一些你就知道了，
因为她已经臭名远播了！

我相信科技的力量，要请大家给家协这个压力，
让他们睁大眼睛看清楚，把这条“蛇”赶走，
让中华恢复平静的学习环境！

I'm tired

2010-05-31T22:22:00.000+08:00

I'm tired with everything happening around me. Anyone understand how I feel?

深夜

2010-05-08T17:30:00.003+08:00

深夜，躺在床上，告诉自己必须让大脑好好地休息，要忘记。。

但是纠痛的心告诉我，其实我很在乎。。

辗转难眠的度过了漫长的一夜。。

早上醒来，多希望只是一场梦，多渴望一切没发生过。。

但是疼痛心告诉我，它是真实的。。

失落的熬过一天。。

心如刀割，我想真得很贴切。。

它在流血了，很努力很努力的深深地呼吸来阻止，但是它却让呼吸也痛了。。

泪一滴一滴的从眼眶滑落了，但是无能为力。。

不想让人看见我的泪，但是它却不争气的流下来。。

改变不了事实，改变不了过去。。

对不起，我没有自己想象中那么的大方。。

对不起，我接受不了。。

不知道时间会不会让我遗忘。。

不知道时间会不会让我改变。。

更无奈的是，我不知道自己需要多少的时间。。

是泪还是雨..

2010-05-08T02:24:00.000+08:00

别人往往很难明白自己的伤心，因为大家执著的都不一样。。

当眼泪很努力的想挣脱，心里多渴望倾盆大雨可以降落。。

虽然大雨洗不去我的哀愁，但是它让我有哭的理由。。

因为别人就会看不清是泪还是雨。。

初恋红豆冰 Iced Kacang Puppy love

2010-05-01T23:27:00.005+08:00

I just went to watch this movie and I think it is truly a great movie for teenage around my age..

The story line is not very good but above average I would say..

What impressed me is that.. they actually incorporated alot of childhood memories for those born in 1980+..

For example, they talked about..

1) Game that I used to play with my bro and his gang..

Guli (actually, I don't know why the movie named it as baguli, i think maybe is pa-guli; pa means hit in hokkien)

2) Money that I used before..

look carefully, they use old ringgit malaysia in the movie!

3) Words being used..

e.g. SIAM (Go away!)

Botak (bareheaded)

Diam lar (shut up!)

4) Custom

e.g. Bao li 包字 (kind of gambling wager) - 5大5小 (5 big 5 small)

Indian motorcycle roti (bread) seller

Chinese bookies who used to run away

5) Beverage and Foods

e.g. kopi O

barley bing (barley iced)

char kuey tiao (fried noodle)

Last but not least,

4) ICE KACANG of course!

AND...

The way they express the story..

which is really FUNNY..

e.g. the girl with hilarious make up to impress her loved one

the act cool way of posing of PingGuan (use saliva to firm the sideburns)
saya buta? saya begitu besar u tak nampak ka? (I'm blind? I am so big you didn't see me?)

LAGI (Furthermore) ..

The acting skills of almost all the actors (MALAYSIAN) in the movie are soo soo soo soo GOOD!!~

Really worth to go to buy a ticket to support this LOCAL movie, guys!

Bus in Penang..

2010-04-29T20:22:00.003+08:00

Alright.. I don't know is it because I never appreciate the bus in Msia or is it because bus system Msia has improved. I am pretty impressed by the bus I took today.

First of all.. let's look at the handle..

I never knew that Twitter and Facebook are so powerful now

Then, I found this on the wall of terminal bus..

Seriously, I doubt they could obey all.. But, rules are meant to break, isn't it? haha..

After that, I found out the bus is OKU (handicap) friendly! (p/s: which is just the same with that in Victoria)

Space for wheelchair

What amazed me again is..

They listed out the bus route, first and last bus, and also the frequency of the bus on the board!

Furthermore, it is spacious!

Even with a big bag in front of me, I still got room to move around!

And it is clean!

No rubbish..

With clear indication of which station to wait in Komtar (one of the big bus station)..

Definitely will not get lost this time!

What more is that... A friendly driver!

Thanks encik!

When I was about to get down..

I found shutter for wheelchair on the bus exit

I would say I am proud of the bus system now. I will definitely bring my friends to take a bus ride if they reach Msia. Malaysia really boleh (can) this time! haha..

Funny to say that I had a sudden thought to say thank you to the Mr. Driver but I was so timid that others will laugh at me and so I swallow back everything. I felt so uncomfortable now.. for not being able to say thank you to the driver! ARH!!!

End of the journey..

2010-04-18T12:26:00.001+08:00

Air Canada officer allowed me to take earlier flight from Victoria to Vancouver at 6pm which is supposed to be at 9pm just now..

Sitting at the observation deck, looking out from the floor.. Plane flying in and out.. The sad feeling came in and out..

I have to admit that the sadness first hits once I saw lots of planes flying off in Victoria airport..

Due to the bad weather between Victoria and Vancouver, the plane just now flied at lower level which gave me a thorough view of Vancouver island.. I would say It was really the great end journey for me..

Masami, Jar, Rachel and Tracy purposely went to downtown to send off which I never expected.. Thanks buddies for even just the intention to give me a final waving hand and hug before leaving; The shouting from Malaysia to await for my return was out of my expectation too..

Surrounded by bunch of good friends is so warm-hearted.. @.@

Present given by Eunice

Present by UVic business international office

A quote in international office said "destination is never a place, but a new way of seeing things"..

I learnt and I grew..

I am on my way back from destination...

Goodbye!

2010-04-17T06:49:00.001+08:00

“Will you cry?” – question thrown by yi teng to me yesterday during farewell lunch.

Ya, will I cry for the leaving?

Seriously, I don’t know.

Feel sad about leaving definitely;

Will miss the people and place over here surely;

But parting is the only thing that let us appreciate things and people around.

The vacation ended.

Journey has to be continued.

Hopefully the built friendship will not fade away.

I truly thank all of u being part of my life;

It added colors to the picture in my heart.

Goodbye, everyone in Canada… O.. o.. o.. Canada..

It's more blessed to give than to receive 施比受更有福

2010-04-07T10:24:00.001+08:00

"I just got a penny from the floor, I consider that as a lucky penny, so I give you my luck, you're going to have good luck today."

An old kind lady told me that one day once I stepped out from the hotel..

I was surprised by her lovely thoughts to give her good luck to others..

I quickly thanked her for the luck and it brighten up my day..

Staying almost 4 months in backpacker hotel, everyone treats one another like their own family members..
Sometimes, they helped us out..
Sometimes, they offered us food..
Sometimes, they shared their joy with us..
Sometimes, they...

I truly appreciates helping hand and kindness from others..
and so, I tried my best to help out anyone who needed..
Yet, sometimes I just can't help falling in hardship..

Actually,
I also wish I could offer some helps..
but I'll be easily frustrated by repetition..
I even wish I could let others try on my food..
but I'm really lacking of confidence in my cooking skills..
I badly wish I could share my joy with others..
but I'm afraid I might annoy others whom busy with their own thingy..

Join Worldvision for long time and wish to become volunteer..
but hasn't got the chance to attend any event..
because it always clashed with school timetable..

Sound like excuses?
Perhaps..

Anyway, that's why I think it's really more blessed to give than to receive..
because you're blessed with ability and competency..
and you brought laughter and warmth to others..

Hopefully there'll be a day that I will give more than receive..

Home..

2010-04-06T11:56:00.001+08:00

There was a short talk with Evan, Yen and me. I was asking Evan whether he would like to get a house for himself if he has the money. Then Evan gave me a definite NO answer, so did Yen. They said they would rather spend money on vacation than buying a house, they would buy a travel trailer for accommodation purposes. So I stopped and starts wondering..

Ever since I reached Canada, I thought of having a travel trailer too, so that I could spare my free time with my family especially my mum who prefers to travel with whole family.

The day when I went to Sooke, a small town in Victoria. I saw a lot of cars loaded with few bikes, I found some families unloaded their stuffs from the car at the seaside, and etc. It reminds me those days that my mum used to bring whole family for picnic at Ulu Yam almost every weekend, or maybe Sunway Lagoon once a month, drive all the way to Klang to get Kopi powder for mum's business, or even CNY travelling within Malaysia every year. I badly wish I could still picnic with whole families again but sometimes you just da me non venni (身不由己).

When everyone gets older, the responsibilities to be bared will be greater too. I can't stop my eldest sis from taking care of my cute nephew and follow us for a trip, I can't refrain my 2nd sis from working since taking a leave ain't easy in government department, I can't impede my 3rd sis from spending lesser time with her boyfriend too, I can't even demand my mum to rest for few days from business as that's the major income for our family. Things change every sec, and we are just way too powerless to stick on status quo.

Anyway, what I wanted to express initially was, I knew and I know able to travel around the world is a dream that longing for by almost everyone in the world, but sometimes, HOME just couldn't be replaced by anything. As soon as you step inside your house, feeling of HOME will be the one that pull you out from whole day of tiredness and frustration. Living under the same roof is something that should be appreciated even if it is a small one, am I right?

Photo taken last CNY

真真假假 (Truth?)

2010-04-01T08:17:00.001+08:00

I used to be someone that being claimed to be very true self.

Perhaps I was.

But as time passed, everyone around you would tell you, "with this attitude, others will easily take advantages of you to accomplish their intention."

I always don't want to accept the fact that friends are bad. I still remember someone told me that camaraderie is just meant to exploited, not to be treated true-hearted. Seriously, I was dismay with the thoughts as I never ever think of it. I thought friends should be make heart-to-heart; I thought friends should help out each other when needed; I thought friends will tell you what you have done wrong instead of backstabbing you at your back; I thought....

Without realization, I changed my attitude.

I tried my best to talk to 'em if they talk to me.

I tried to smile to 'em if they joke with me.

I tried to agree to 'em if they propose something I don't really agree with.

because I don't wish to argue with 'em.

"They ain't important to me to be honest." is what I always think of.

But, I started to feel that I am not as sincere as I used to be anymore in making friends with others.

Is it really the environment that has changed me?

Or is just because friendship is really not as faithful as I thought of?

People that talk with you everyday might actually gossip about you in front of others.

People that laugh with you everyday might eventually laughing on you in front of others.

You would never know.

No..! I shouldn't let all these bad influences affect me.

I hate myself being that fake..

I want to take off my mask..

To be the real me, the real Yann Ni.

Farewell..

2010-03-29T03:05:00.002+08:00

Is time to say goodbye..

Exact four months over here in Canada..

Anxious before coming..

Feeling uncertain once reaching..

Happy after knowing..

Sad is time for leaving..

I guess is time for me to express my appreciation..

First of all..

Thanks Brian..

for always keeping up my motivation..

you are the best lecturer I have ever met.. seriously..

Thanks Brad..

for showing me the greatest friendliness a person can ever offer..

your help in everything reduced my trouble much..

Thanks other international officer whom I don't really know your name..

for everything that made my exchange programme in Canada possible..

I am glad to be part of the programme this term..

Thanks to my OB lecturer..

for letting me know importance of interaction in class..

I am happy to participate and learn a lot in the class..

Thanks Prof. Sang Name..

for coming out with lots of ideas and efforts..

I know Canada very much in your class.. in a interesting way.. of cause..

Then..

Thanks to May..

for assisting during my stay..

I wish you will enjoy your exchange to HK and get lotsa helps from everyone too..

Thanks vivien, xinhui and christine, all others that I have known through them..

you guys are amazing!

I wish to absorb the energy from you guys to cope everything in life..

Last but not least..

Thanks Leon..

for accompaniment..

I know you would say you come here not to accompany me.. I knew that too..

still, want to thank you for everything..

Thanks T..

for...

got alot to say but the word can't express my thoughts..

I know you know I am glad to meet, know and understand you over here..

hope our faithful friendship will continue forever..

Thanks YiTeng & Cherry..

for sharing thoughts and opinions with me..

both of you changed my point of view much..

please come Malaysia often to look for me..

welcome me if i go to Singapore, too..

Thanks Rachel, MingWei, Jenny, Jocelyn, Jan, Jar, YaoGuang, ZhenLing..

for partying together..

the happy memory will definitely remain till the rivers all run dry..

Thanks everyone that I have known and met over here..

for came into my life..

I treasure every moment spending with all of you..

Not to forget..

Thanks to Canada..

for telling me the real meaning of "no discrimination"..

for letting me know the definition for "humane"..

O.. Canada..

We stand on guard for thee..

O.. my friends..

I stand on guard for Thee..

Just to let you know..

2010-03-25T05:06:00.006+08:00

I am sorry..

because I don't know how to console you..

because I couldn't make you feel better after the call..

I am not good in giving advice..

but I am happy you thought of me when you need one..

I am not well in comforting..

but I am delighted you appreciated my thoughts..

Actually, I just wish to tell you that..

"I am glad to have you as my friend, too"

our favourite food.. ^^

Psytopic

2010-03-24T02:39:00.001+08:00

My result of analysis..

Psytopic分析：您的性格类型是“INFJ”(内向+直觉+情感+判断)

寻求思想、关系、物质等之间的意义和联系。希望了解什么能够激励人，对人有很强的洞察力。有责任心，坚持自己的价值观。对于怎样更好的服务大众有清晰的远景。在对于目标的实现过程中有计划而且果断坚定。

INFJ型的人生活在思想的世界里。他们是独立的、有独创性的思想家，具有强烈的感情、坚定的原则和正直的人性。即使面对怀疑，INFJ型的人仍相信自己的看法与决定。他们对自己的评价高于其他的一切，包括流行观点和存在的权威，这种内在的观念激发着他们的积极性。通常INFJ型的人具有本能的洞察力，能够看到事物更深层的含义。即使他人无法分享他们的热情，但灵感对于他们重要而令人信服。 INFJ型的人忠诚、坚定、富有理想。他们珍视正直，十分坚定以至达到倔强的地步。因为他们的说服能力，以及对于什么对公共利益最有利有清楚的看法，所以 INFJ型的人会成为伟大的领导者。由于他们的贡献，他们通常会受到尊重或敬佩。因为珍视友谊和和睦，INFJ型的人喜欢说服别人，使之相信他们的观点是正确的。通过运用嘉许和赞扬，而不是争吵和威胁，他们赢得了他人的合作。他们愿意毫无保留地激励同伴，避免争吵。通常INFJ型的人是深思熟虑的决策者，他们觉得问题使人兴奋，在行动之前他们通常要仔细地考虑。他们喜欢每次全神贯注于一件事情，这会造成一段时期的专心致志。满怀热情与同情心，INFJ型的人强烈地渴望为他人的幸福做贡献。他们注意其他人的情感和利益，能够很好地处理复杂的人。INFJ型的人本身具有深厚复杂的性格，既敏感又热切。他们内向，很难被人了解，但是愿意同自己信任的人分享内在的自我。他们往往有一个交往深厚、持久的小规模的朋友圈，在合适的氛围中能产生充分的个人热情和激情。

您适合的领域有：咨询、教育、科研等领域文化、艺术、设计等

您适合的职业有：

· 特殊教育教师
· 建筑设计师
· 培训经理/培训师
· 职业指导顾问
· 心理咨询师
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· 大学教师（人文学科、艺术类）
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· 作家
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· 设计师

try this..

Culture Shock

2010-03-15T23:55:00.011+08:00

There was a day my lecturer of Canadian Business taught us on Culture Shock in class..

He said..

Culture Shock is like Salmon..

because..

Salmon born in fresh water..

They will go to salt water to venture and grow..

Meet with different kind of species..

They meet with..

Seahorse..

"Are you a fish or a horse? You look like a horse, but why are you in the sea?"

"I am fish, but I look like horse.."

Nemo..

"Hello, nice to meet you.. Who are you?"

"Ohh.. you don't know me? I am very famous. My name is Nemo. Nice to meet you."

and others..

After spending their life in deep sea..

They go back to fresh water and lay egg..

Then, they will die after that..

Culture Shock is just the same..

Left home and come to a brand new place, to meet with a lot of people with different background..

Then, come back home with knowledge and experience gained to pass to next generation..

My lecturer said he will cry everytime when he saw Salmon as he thinks of the story..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He also said..

Culture Shock is like Butterfly..

because..

Butterfly will go through few stages..

First, Egg..

Protected by shell..

You will be protected from some truth (which you cannot accept) about particular culture..

And you are still enjoying being in a new environment..

Then, Caterpillar..

The ugliest stage of butterfly..

You start to realize everything..

You begin to doubt on your own thought, your own principle of life..

After that, Cocoon..

Look nothing, but big changes happen inside..

Without realization, you evolve..

Lastly, Butterfly..

The most beautiful and last stage..

Synergy with both culture..

You fly high and strong..

Actually I admire my lecturer for coming out with such adorable stories to explain this concept of Culture Shock..

I personally agree very much..

I hope I could become a Butterfly one day later..

I also wish I am a good Salmon..

What do you think?

Something different

2010-03-09T13:48:00.003+08:00

I bet you never gonna see this in Malaysia..

This happened when I was in my OB class and that's my OB's lecturer writing something on the board after student voiced out their ideas on how to solve conflicts with others..

You found it?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Recommended behaviours

Bring candy

Kiss ass <--- (which means trying to be friendly with others/bodek/拍马屁)

Do your best

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

something you never gonna see in the class in Malaysia.. I bet.. haha..

Now you know how interesting my class is, right?

Grief

2010-03-08T00:15:00.004+08:00

I know it may seem unrelated to me, but still I wish to say something over here..

Reading the news in Iraq entitled "Iraqis dodge explosions to cast their votes"..

I don't know about politics, I don't know any single thing about running a country, but seriously I condemn you, the one that hurled those grenade and rigged rooms with explosives to stop others in casting their votes!

"人不为己，天诛地灭" "Every man for himself, and the devil takes the hindmost", the world really works that way? You want power, you hunger for authority, you lure for control; but you need not to kill people, think about the elder and children, think about your future, country without any people respects you, you still want?

I still remember I read [Kite runner] and [Thousand Splendid of Sun] before; is talking about the same thing.. Talking about the uneven distribution of wealth and power, disparate status of women.. ARHHHH!! I hate this..

I don't like. People, be civilized, ok?! Can everyone try to alleviate all this stupid and ridiculous thought to sacrifice everything just to have power in their hand?

另一个她

2010-03-06T00:39:00.002+08:00

前天到星期天是维多利亚的旅游日，所以昨天，我们一大伙拿到了固本后，就分别去了不同的旅游景点。。

在等待着其他人的到来时，我跟她先到了蜡像馆，我们就酱在蜡像馆开始了我们的话题。。

我知道其实她会问我，会问起我跟他的事，因为她有在跟读我的部落格，也因为我们曾经讨论过这个话题，所以我也做好心理准备回答她这个问题。。

。。。。。。

也不知道如何，我们谈到了爱跟喜欢的分别。。

我告诉她，是另一个她让我明白爱是什么，所以我很坦然地接受了他

她说她还不懂爱，所以她不明白。。

。。。。。。

其实她有满多我觉得跟我很像的地方，对人对事的看法和想法，她似乎每每对某些人或某些是都能做出与我一样的结论。。

在同一个星空下，能找到另一个可以与你有同样思路的人，不是那么简单，对吗？

很庆幸地，我遇到了一个。。

也许交换完毕回去以后我们不会再有交际，但是至少她让我知道原来我的思想并不孤独。。

p/s: 重点是，她跟我一样美，只是眼睛比我小一点而已。。哈哈！！气死你了吧，婷！！

我，樱桃，和她。。看倒影就知道他眼睛不大。。哈哈！！

Katak di bawah tempurung - Like frog underneath coconut shell

2010-02-27T00:42:00.004+08:00

Just had a nice chat with hsiang..

She told me she think she is tiny.. "seperti katak di bawah tempurung (like frog underneath coconut shell)"

Honestly, that's the feeling I used to have everyday when I am in the class.

With almost all international students friends and classmates I have now, I always get amazed by others' opinions and thoughts.. because they could actually think out of the box and convey their message clearly to others..

Is pretty hard for me to let you folks know how extremely-extraordinarily-highly-super-GENG they are; but from politics to social, from academic to sports; they can actually tell you things that you don't know.

Getting a chance to know people from around the world really "open my eye big big" [quote from hsiang]...

Trying hard to jump out from the tempurung/coconut shell now, and I believe everyone should..

Meanwhile, enjoying my life that left not more than one and half months here..

Hopefully, I will be able to see the blue blue sky from the outside of the tempurung/coconut shell the day I leave Victoria, Canada; the place where I gained and gave a lot of memories..

Future

2010-02-25T09:56:00.004+08:00

I am glad someone had waited for me 3 years. I in fact started to feel that my affection arises towards him recently.

He is not a great guy, I believe most of you will think about that. Many people told me that I deserved a better one too. But i know he is being very good to me because he would sacrifice everything he can for me just to make me happy. I believe you might start to ask me "then why not you just accept him?"

Actually I planned to. The day when I reach Malaysia, that's the day I will be together with him.

Previously, what playing in my mind without starting the relationship with him were a lot..

Firstly, I expected him to be better than me, either academically or personality. Many people have doubted, "How can someone be better than you? You already very extraordinary!" (Am I?) I wish he could be the one I can lean on, I could hope on, because I don't wish I will step on the same old path my mother went through in her life.

Secondly, I don't think I really love him previously. Others told me "You will think of starting the relationship with him because you think you owe him. This is not love."

Thirdly, I cared about perception from others. I cared how people look at me. I cared also people will start to bad mouth on him because I am neither a welcome one among his gang.

Then, at a moment in Canada, I found myself actually hoping he can actually be the one beside me to share everything with me.

However, things started to change.

I started to feel that maybe I am the one that "not qualify" to stand beside him..

I don't have great outlook, good personality, neither a friendly person. Compare to his ex, I am really nothing perhaps.

I always feel incompetent in everything, to be frank. Some of you might deny "No, you look confident" I know, but I don't think so deep inside my heart actually, I bet he don't even know.

So, as story progress..

Argument on and off..

"end here bah" is the last sentence he threw to me..

Heart-broken sad.. but what to do?

What happen and who to be blamed aren't the main point over here..

The most important part is.. he already gave up in this relationship..

If I don't want also nothing I could do, isn't it?

Thanks anyway for everything you have contributed. I appreciate, perhaps part of my future is not what you are looking for. Take care.

Mistake..

2010-02-25T04:53:00.006+08:00

I don't like mistake, to be honest..

I put high expectation on myself, and also people around me, especially those that I care about very much..

Research said, everyone will auto-ammend once they encounter mistake for 21 times, but I wish I could reduce the number of repetition for myself so that I am better off immediately next time.

I accept mistake though, but I think everyone should understand their mistake and mourn on it if necessary before they move forward, else they will repeat the same mistake again and again..

If I have ever being demanded on you, so sorry by putting you in such an important position in my heart.

Thanks for letting me know that you aren't comfortable with the expectation by me. I will take you out of my heart from now on.

将心比心 - stand in other's shoes

2010-02-23T11:02:00.003+08:00

刚刚才发现原来这将会是我第一百篇在这部落格的心情日记。。三年了，好快。。

常常，别人都说我想太多。。其实我也不否认啦，因为我真得想很多。。

我常想，如果明天我突然离开这世界的话，有人会为我的离开而伤心，为我的离去而哭泣吗？

也许，不应该渴望别人为我而伤心，因为这样或许有些自私，但是如果没有人感到遗憾的话，我的人生是不是有点失败呢？

别人常劝我说，“不要傻啦，你对别人好，人家就会对你好咩？小心良心当狗吠！”

听起来好像很有道理。。

但是我妈告诉我，“不要怕吃亏，因为你会获得更多”。。

听起来好像更有道理。。

到底哪个才是真理呢？对不起，我没有答案。。

也许我们根本不需要答案。。

其实将心比心，是我唯一待人处事的原则。。

要别人重视你，请你先重视别人；

要别人喜欢你，请你先喜欢别人；

要别人尊重你，请你先尊重别人；

要别人对你好，请你先对别人好；

要别人关心你，请你先关心别人；

要别人真真切切的当你是朋友，请你不要冷冷漠漠的对待别人。。

我不是什么伟大的圣人，我没有什么大道理。。

我只能每天问我自己那些种种大家都认为很愚蠢的问题，好让我检讨我自己。。

至少此时此刻，正在读我部落格的你，会为我的离去而感到遗憾，对吗?

Just realized this is going to be my 100^th post in this blog.. It has been three years I started to blog, time flies..

Often, I am deemed to think a lot.. I won’t deny it, because I really think a lot..

I always wonder, if I were to die tomorrow, would anyone in the world feel sad for my leaving? Would anyone shed a tear upon my decease?

Probably, I shouldn’t hope that anyone will grieve for my death because it is rather selfish. But, if no one does, perhaps I am such a loser for my whole life..

Advice that I invariably getting from others is not to treat anyone good, because it might not turn out as you wish, you might even ended up being fooled..

Sound truth har…

Yet, my mum told me to not afraid of getting the short end of the stick, because you might ended up attain more..

South convincing too har..

Which one is the truth? I apologize for not being to answer this question..

Perhaps we don’t need an answer for it..

To be frank, “stand in others’ shoes” is my only principle in dealing with everything..

If you wish to be appreciated by others, please appreciate others in advance;

If you wish to gain affection from others, please show your affection to others first;

If you wish to gain respect from others, please respect others in advance;

If you wish to be treated in a nice manner, please treat others better first;

If you wish others will care about you, please care about others in advance;

If you wish to be treated as real good friend by others, please don’t show apartness to others..

I am not a Saint, I don’t have any faithful gospel..

I can only repeatedly ask myself the same old stupid question to make self-critisicm..

At least, in this moment.. the one that reading my blog, will feel sorry towards my death, isn’t it?

Another Her..

2010-02-20T11:25:00.007+08:00

I admit I am not a friendly kind of person.. but I always think that sometimes you just can't control you will get along better and who will not. It is all depending on the fate, isn't it?

Don't wish to mention the one that I don't really admire (oh yea, I do have someone that I extremely don't like.. yes.. extremely!).. but there's one particular person I would like to mention and to share with you guys..

Don't know why we clicked to talk since the Day 1 we got the chance to talk to each other.

Then, I was impressed by her in one of the party at which she kept protecting her friend (by drinking on behalf) who is not god in drinking liquor but ought to receive punishment.

No doubt, I like this kind of faithful friend, typical 义气仔女..

After that, we went for trip together. Spent time a lot and share many past stories together.

The memory that engraved in my mind so deeply happened at the night of the opening ceremony of Winter Olympics 2010. We were lingering around downtown of Vancouver since we didn't get any accommodation and we sat on McD to watch the opening ceremony after tired of walking.

Then, we saw the final torch bearer of the relay, Wayne Gretzky (Canadian Hockey legend) passed by one of the street in downtown which is very near to us, I told her "Don't hesitate, let's run for it!" And then, she really didn't delay any sec and ran down to the street and followed the crowds to chase for him. I was right behind her.

Photo taken on crowd while running

It is really crazy. Is been a long time I didn't do such a crazy stuff.

By the way, with my age and stamina, I couldn't make it far. I ran for few minutes and I lose my breath. I was gasping all the way. What amazed me is that, she was still running in front of me, and yea, way in front of me.

She turned around, looked for me and saw me walking so slowly. She then grabbed my hand and told me "add oil (加油啊!) and pulled me to run along with her.

That's her.. due to some reason, her identity can't be revealed.. hehe..

Finally, we reached the stadium...

Felt sorry to her because if she were to run alone, she might be able to catch up the bearer, but since she waited for me, we were just able to see the moment when the big torch in the stadium was lighted up and gorgeous fireworks from the stadium. (That's the reason I started to jog around campus recently.. ^o^ gonna build up my stamina to not disappoint her if we got the second chance to do that Y(^.^)Y)

Fireworks we saw that night

Well, I would say I am glad I met her here.. She showed me a lot of energy that is supposed to be in every youngster (I am still a teenager!!). Hopefully the distance between Malaysia and Hong Kong will not apart our friendship after the exchange programme ended.

Ngo yan xiong lei, C.M.S..!!

昨天, 今天 == yesterday, today

2010-02-20T02:02:00.004+08:00

没有昨天的傲慢, 不会有今天的谦虚

没有昨天的无知, 不会有今天的成熟

没有昨天的犹豫, 不会有今天的果断

没有昨天的粗心, 不会有今天的细心

没有昨天的你们, 不会有今天的我

没有昨天, 也就不会有今天了..

谢谢昨天, 珍惜今天..

Without past arrogant, wouldn't have present humbleness

Without past ignorance, would't have present maturity

Without past hesitation, wouldn't have present determination

Without past reckless, wouldn't have present chariness

Without you folks yesterday, wouldn't have me today..

Without yesterday, wouldn't have today..

Thanks to yesterday, appreciate today..

Here I am..

2010-02-17T11:08:00.004+08:00

Winter Olympic fever has covered the whole city of Vancouver, it is so happening every moment over here..

But I am now sitting on a chair up high in the Lookout center in the center of Vancouver and writing this post..

The scenery is great.. It made me think of the moment I stepped in Tokyo tower..

I am glad to be considered as part of this game!

Go Canada Go!

雪战

2010-02-16T09:51:00.000+08:00

令人疲惫，但却万分开心的雪战。。

继上次去滑雪后，这次是第二次再踏在白茫茫的冰湖。。

这次，很不一样，因为有了大伙的陪伴。。

大伙都想在这不可能在自己祖国体验到的经验，记录下来。。

拍照时，有的跳，有的躺；有的静静走在冰湖上享受这一刻。。

然后，毫无预警的。。雪战开始了！！

大伙捡起地上有点粗的雪往目标攻击。。

我啊，被David扎了几次后脑勺，被Dennis偷袭放了一把雪在身后，被Leon往脸上砸雪。。好狼狈！！

但是我是兴奋的，嘻嘻！！

这四天三夜的旅程，现在只剩一半了，但是我相信那个回忆会是一辈子的。。

谢谢Tracy帮我报仇，也往Leon脸上砸了一堆雪，哈哈！

好开心。。

受伤害。。

2010-02-13T01:03:00.000+08:00

也许。。不应该期待。。

因为。。期待会让人受伤害。。

这样的生活

2010-02-11T04:02:00.002+08:00

寒冷的天气，坐在窗前，望着窗外的人群熙熙攘攘，车子不停的来来往往，反复地听着那最近最爱老旧的歌（就是你们现在听到的这首），时而低头完成必须要完成的作业。。

一杯热呼呼的白开水，几片曲奇。。

欧式的建筑物，加式的幽默，法式的语言，美式的交际。。

无拘无束，没有包袱。。

时而自由，却时而寂寞。。

这样的生活，是我要的吗？是你要的吗?

Business Reseach Analysis

2010-02-09T11:32:00.005+08:00

Just wanna give a snippet view of my current business research paper..

Title: "Protective Tariff for Automobile industry in Malaysia"

==========================================================

Under the mandate of Tun Mahathir Mohamad – prime minister of Malaysia for 22 years, national car in Malaysia has gained great shares in local automobile industry with the help from government. Dr. Mohd Rosli also agreed that:

Since the first national car, the Proton Sage, rolled out of its plan in 1985, Malaysia has obtained much recognition regionally and internationally for its outstanding achievements in the automobile industry... It is demonstrated that the various protective measures, such as the tariff and non-tariff barriers and local content policy, were adopted by the Malaysian government to enable the automobile industry to survive and develop locally[1]

Automobile industry in Malaysia mainly consists of 3 categories, i.e. national, locally assembled (CKD) and imported (CBU) vehicles. Government of Malaysia launched series of taxation to CKD and CBU cars to reduce their competitiveness in local market. Office of United States Trade Representative also pointed out that “Malaysia maintains high tariffs and local content requirements in order to promote the domestic automobile industry”[2]. The protective tariff has artificially elevated prices of CKD and CBU vehicles to a great extent which eventually helps to boost the sales of national car in Malaysia.

[1] Rosli, Mohd. "The Automobile Industry and Performance of Malaysian Auto Production." Journal of Economic Cooperation, 27, 1, 2007: 89.

[2] Office of the United States Trade Representative. Future Free Trade Area Negotiations: Report on Significant Market Opening. North American Free Trade Agreement Implementation Act, Sec. 108 (b)(2), Darby: Diane Publishing, 1997.

==========================================================

Look very pro, right? wuahaha.. ^^

面面俱到

2010-02-08T06:04:00.003+08:00

如果你问我，出国让我得到了什么？

想了很久，我想应该是学会了。。面面俱到。。

（备注：面面俱到 = 各方面都能照顾到，没有遗漏疏忽。也指虽然照顾到各方面，但一般化）

好像学会了不先表达自己的意见，让他人做决定，大家开心就好。。

好像学会了不随便下定论，观察了一些时间才说出看法。。

好像学会了不轻易批评，也许会不小心伤了一些人。。

好像学会了与别人交际，就算是自己不是很感兴趣的话题。。

好像学会了察言观色，在适当的时候作适当的事，说适当的话。。

可能你会说，这个叫做迷失自我。。

但是我觉得这是成长。。

有些人也许一辈子都学不会。。

你知道吗？在我的字典里，残却并不可怜。。

可怜的是愚昧。。

如果一味的认为自己是对的，永远都生活在那小小的框框里；跳不出，别人也不会愿意对你伸出援手。。

你懂吗？

在你的身边，也许已经有许许多多不满意你的人，只是大家都不说；很遗憾，因为他们都认为你不值得让他们这么做，他们让你继续沦陷，继续活在自己的世界。。

我不希望我是那个大家在背后指指点点的那个。。

所以我很努力的改变自己来适应环境。。

至少，这样大家都会把我放在心里，不喜欢我什么都会告诉我。。

至少，让我知道自己的缺点。。

至少，我不会是什么都被蒙在鼓里的那个，被人嘲笑的那个。。

就这样。。我学会了面面俱到。。

我很假吗？

不全然。。因为对每个人，我都说出心理的话。。

不喜欢就不喜欢，喜欢就喜欢。。

只是换了个表达的方法。。

你呢？

细水长流..

2010-02-06T13:41:00.002+08:00

愿我们的感情能像这源源不绝的河流那样.. 细水长流..

Kissed by her..

2010-02-05T07:22:00.004+08:00

Oh yea.. i really kissed by her.. @.@

Yesterday was YG's birth and we went to his house for celebration..

Then, we played "Truth 'O' Dare"..

Jenny, girl from HK chose "Dare"...

Then, the task was... to kiss ME... OMG.. mouth-to-mounth.. @.@

I was in hardship.. should I 'welcome' her kiss (but I am not that open-minded) or shall I avoid her kiss (but it will let her feel she's masty) ?

I said "Are you sure?"

She said "I am ok with it"

So scary when she approached me but I need to suppress myself not to over-react and hurt her by any inappropriate gesture..

She wanted to kiss the back of my hand initially, but i think it's really not good for her to do so..

Then I move forward to hug her and she kissed on my cheek..

And yeah, that's all.. but is really...

"huh~~~~~~~~~~"

However, I really admire her bravery and outgoing trait. GENG!!

Anyway, also got something I don't really like during the game.. because the questions we can ask for the "Truth" part is limited, cannot be too private lar, cannot be too sensitive lar, and bla bla bla.. so don't really get into know everyone deeply, which made the game a bit meaningless..

But, still fun lar.. having pizza, pop and chips for a party till 11.30pm..

Maybe I should play this when I hang out with my gang next time.. Be prepared, my friends!!

About Canadian

2010-02-03T09:17:00.005+08:00

Due to the assignment title given by lecturer to understand Canadian mindset, I have came out with several questions that provoke thought. Then I need to interview at least 3 Canadians and write a paper on the analysis. It took me 2 days to come out with the 10 questions.

Today, I had a conversation with one of the coursemate from OB class. He impressed me alot. Apprarently, he is a businessman that evoke kindship in the society, a typical 'good person'. He ran this business for 10 years and then went for school again because he found himself lost in the way during the business.

At first, I had a good impression on him. Then, after "infected" by YG (Singaporean friend) due to the chattering "ability" he has, then i prevent myself from talking to him so that he will not talk non-stop with me which will make me sick of it. But today, after the conversation, I felt myself so wrong for not talking to him since the beginning of the semester.

A 32 years old man who looks like 23 to me. He told me alot of things about Canada. His point of view about First Nation and homeless issue in Canada. He also told me some history about Canada which I never know.

His thoughtful opinion, friendly conversation, of cause a little bit of chattering made my interview so meaningful. It is definitely one of the best interview I have ever undergone. I don't know how to convey my message to you folks that he is really amazing, but he is indeed.

At least I found something inside him which I never got the guts to do, i.e. contributing his whole life for charity. Bless for him to success in his future. All the best, Erik Hanson.

P/S: you can look for his book in the internet, -Cool to be Kind-..

团聚

2010-01-28T05:39:00.006+08:00

今天，康熙讨论着过年习俗。。

也许是在他乡，突然间好想念过年的感觉。。

怎么说，一年才一次，对吗？

好不容易一年过了，但是却不能与家人团聚。。

好想念年三十晚妈妈那丰盛的晚餐, 一家人高谈阔论,也好想吃我姐烘的肉干..

好啦,我知道不可能啦!

我会好好的跟这里的游子过新年, 熬过这个本来应该让我期待的一天..

Crazy Day

2010-01-25T03:21:00.003+08:00

OMG.. I never thought that my days here in Victoria will be that happening..

Almost every weekend is party night!!~

Part 1 for yesterday was hiking at Salt Spring Island, who knows it turned out to be a boring and "money-wasting" trip, because we spent CAD$7 (~RM25) to take taxi from the downtown of the island to ferry. This is all due to the stupid 4 hours interval bus schedule they have in the island. If we wait for the bus, we will miss our ferry at 2pm.

Due to the boredom in the island, Rachael suggested to go for BBQ at their house and no doubt, everyone agreed with that, and so we were there in their house yesterday night AGAIN for party!! ^o^

Yesterday met lots of new friends especially those from HongKong, so nice to talk to them in Cantonese and the fun part was, others don't have any clue what we were talking about.!!~ hehe.. See, learn more languages is good for oneself...

So we were doing a "cheating BBQ" because we don't even need to barbecue the chicken or hotdog, is all done by Sandy and Leon, we just sat down and waited for the food..

Then we played games..

Too fun yesterday, really enjoying..

I love the life in Victoria!!

I love you guys too, my friends in Victoria!!~

Business, Type A & hobby

2010-01-22T11:32:00.005+08:00

Been here in Victoria reaching 1 month, studying business for almost 3 weeks, I found myself fond of business now..

"An engineering student came so far away from Malaysia to study business?"

This is the question always thrown to me since day 1.

I am taking 3 courses right now, i.e. Organizational Behavior (OB), Canadian Business and Business Communication (BCom).

Organization behavior is to study on human behavior that ultimately affect their attitude and contribution towards satisfied job performance.

Canadian Business is to provide a gateway for every international student to understand the business environment in Canada.

Business Communication on the other hand focuses on writing and communicating professionally from business perspective.

That day during the class of OB, lecturer mentioned a personality termed as "Type A", this term engraved in my mind deeply after I read from text book because it is used to describe people that move, eat and even talk fast; which is actually me.

Then she asked the whole class to classify themselves into different categories based on the personality test she gave, and no doubt, I am a typical Type A person.

Yet, these few days made me realized something..

I found myself changed. I used to feel rush, not enough time to complete my scheduled task, and so forth. But, I don't feel that rush anymore these few days. Actually I don't know what happen, maybe is the "Right Brain Training" helps me in relaxing, maybe is also because the relax schedule I have now, maybe also due to study environment here.

Anyway, I think this is also considered a good thing for me. Feeling of rush made me so tension everyday. Now, I can observe things around me more clearly. I am happy and contented. I guess this is also the reason I like business so much right now.

Attended a talk today, seriously the whole 1 hour time, I don't know what the speaker was talking about. I couldn't understand him. I guess is because my English proficiency and understanding towards Canadian economy is way too low. Anyhow, I still glad I attended the talk, at least I know I am too incompetent as compared to others. ^.^ So I gotta strive harder to catch up their pace.

At some moment during the talk, I was evaluating the presentation of the speaker, the tone was too soft and no intonation nor passion throughout the talk. Suddenly, I thought of something. Often, when others ask me what my hobby is. I said I don't know, because I was always rush for my homework and no interest towards other thingy (which is typical behavior of Type A personality). Just now, I found out apparently "making presentation" is actually my hobby. Pretty bizarre, but it is really true. I always looks for ways to improve my presentation skills, that's why I love BCom class so much. And yea, that's the only thing that can make me feel so great! I think my plan to become lecturer one days later is feasible now.

So, the conclusions about this post are I like business, I am not that Type A anymore and my hobby is to make presentation. ^o^

Lecturer

2010-01-12T05:41:00.003+08:00

You never gonna believe this..

I just went inside the building to look for Brad (international student advisor) to inquire something..

Then, I met with Brian (my Business Communication's lecturer)..

He actually passed me, but he stepped back and waited for me when he saw me..

And I said, "hey, Brian!"

he said, "hey, you always with smiley face"

"oh ya, we need to enjoy life, right?"

"I don't know are you following the news in Malaysia, about the Allah.."

"Oh ya ya.. I know I know.. *and some censored elaboration*"

Ok.. telling you guys about the conversation not to compliment myself about the "smiley" thingy..

but, a big but over here..

is the friendliness of the lecturers over here..

Is pretty bizarre to call lecturer by their first name..

I felt quite rude and believe most of you feel the same, but they will feel uncomfortable if you call them dr. or prof.. they prefer first name..

Try to imagine, if one day you were to go in front of Dr. R and Dr. N or Dr. Zul and call them without a "Dr.", I am SURE they will open their eye very big and perhaps they might deduct your mark in the assignment..

Here, we are like friend!!

I enjoyed.. ^.^

有头发边个想做癞痢？

2010-01-09T04:14:00.002+08:00

Who doesn't wish to have great amount of money in the bank?

Who doesn't wish to have good English?

Who doesn't wish to be generous?

Who doesn't wish to spending the money without one second of thinking?

Who doesn't wish to buy branded stuffs?

Who doesn't wish to have friend around the world?

Who doesn't wish to be better?

Give them chance to improve, but not condemn them..

Understand them, but not humiliate them..

Bear with them, but not arguing with them..

Neither of us are perfect..

If you think condemn, humiliation and argument are the best ways for them to improve, I won't say much, at least it's not gonna work on me... I bet so do others.. Even if they changed, they won't be happy..

Put yourself in others' shoes. Will you be happy if someone were folding their hand critics without giving constructive ideas? Yet, he himself/she herself is not even a perfect person?

Self introduction

2010-01-08T13:21:00.004+08:00

Here's the assignment required by my lecturer..

The course is about business communication, he taught us on effective communication which is paramount important in business field..

The 1st assignment today is to write our own student profile which is assumed will be posted on the UVic website for peers to view (target reader)..

I am the sender of message.. so right now I am gonna convey the message to you about me..

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

ABOUT YANN NI

“Acorn” can be her symbolic; single seed enclosed in tough and leathery shell, naïve but possesses a doughty outlook. Yet, you will like it if you know how to cook and play with it. An exchange student from Malaysia; Yann Ni is the name given. Mandarin and Hokkien are her native languages, yet she speaks Malay and English due to the academic environment in Malaysia. With the enthusiasm to learn different cultures, she learned Korean and French in University at home country. Fortunately, 3 months internship in Japan added her ability to speak Japanese too.

Hope to learn violin but was forced by her mother to complete her dream to learn piano. Joining the music band in university exposed her to various chances to learn different types of instrument including bass guitar and drum set. Blessed with a unique voice, she is also a famous singer among the peers after she won the 2^nd runner up in singing competition in the campus.

Dream to become a singer or artist in the future but born in a family of typical Asian culture does not allow the realization of it which is considered ridiculous. Therefore, she planned to further studies in Germany for phD degree so that she would be able to become a lecturer one day. However, she still wishes to admit to police academy for a short period before the permanent career to accomplish one of her ambitious since small.

Here I am in UVic, nice to meet you!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Generally for this course, I need to know how to write a paragraph or present or producing any media to convey business message. Typical example will be study and analysis on commercials, writting business news, present business plan, and etc..

It is definitely new and challenging to me because all these stuffs not allow crap and straight forward, but I am pretty much talking about crap everyday.. =P

Anyway, hopefully I will pick up some proper English here and enhance my writing skills by the end of this course. Nevertheless, I truly hope this course won't bury my humour deep into the ground.

I am pissed again..

2010-01-08T08:32:00.003+08:00

I don't know it is my problem or your problem..

Is it really that necessary for you to be so pretending?

I found out you are truly very naive. You ever think of others' feeling before you do or say something? You ever realize your words are always in conflict? You ever thought of you are also actually very fake? You definitely are.

But, you can continue who you want to be because you are no one to me.

Not moving forward = stepping backward (不进则退).

Wish you all the best in your future. You are no way to success if you keep going with this kind of attitude..

No doubt. I am talking about you. Is YOU...

Don't ask me who is it. Figure out yourself.

Tiny

2010-01-05T15:20:00.003+08:00

This is the second time I am far far away from home..

Getting here for 1 week, walking through the street in Victoria, knowing a lot of exchange students and talking with a bunch of backpackers made me felt so tiny..

Physically, I love the word "tiny".. Is my pleasure to become the shortest among my friend over here..

Mentally, I don't really prefer this adjective..

Well, to be honest with you, you might feel I am awesome to be able to travel to Japan and then to Canada, but I could tell you, my experience is just a small case as compared to the exchange student over here.

There's one girl from Poland, been to nearly whole section of Europe countries, South America and now North America..

There's one guy from Mexico, been to California, all European countries, and some countries that I don't even know..

There's many backpackers over here, been to tonnes of exciting places with crazy photos as their memories..

I admire the lifestyle of backpackers over here, they can actually dump their job once they have enough money to go to their planned destination. After spending out all the money, they continue their working life. They don't mind sleeping in backpacker hotel, they don't mind eating pretty averagely meal, they don't even mind to waste their time in doing something which is considered a waste for us (e.g. loitering)..

I don't have the guts to do so, and that's why I respect 'em.

Staying in this backpacker hotel brought me a lot of lessons. I love it.

自大..

2010-01-01T08:22:00.003+08:00

从前，我还蛮自大的..

也许，就因为酱，我不太喜欢自大的人, 正所谓:"一山不能藏二虎"..

我想以前身边的人也很厌倦我的自大吧!!

不是想夸奖我自己改变了很多, 只是每每看到一些年少不懂事, 说话很冲, 脾气很僵的年轻人, 都很想上前给于劝告, 虽然知道他们不会听进去..

有时候, 真得很不明白..

为什么有些人到了我这个年纪, 做事还那么不成熟,

为什么有些人到了我这个年纪, 还那么不懂得体谅别人..

为什么有些人到了我这个年纪, 都不会反省..

为什么有些人到了我这个年纪, 还以为自己是无敌的..

为什么有些人到了我这个年纪, 还蹉跎着岁月..

为什么?

别人说,

为什么别人要和你一样改变呢?

他们自己过得快乐就可以了, 不是吗?

也许别人说得对, 世界就是因为酱而美丽, 不是吗?

Unbelievable

2009-12-27T16:40:00.001+08:00

Can’t believe I am in Victoria, Canada finally..

Can’t believe also I am in serious jet lags, otak pening pening whole day since arrival..

Can’t believe also my luggage was spoilt during transfer..

Can’t even believe I am going to have my 5months of living here..

So cold and so dizzy.. @.@

Good afternoon, Malaysia..

Good night, Canada..

~Hong Kong~

2009-12-26T07:09:00.001+08:00

“Hong Kong.. Kowloon, Hong Kong.. We like Hong Kong”

I believe you guys are quite familiar with this song.. and yea, I reached HONG KONG!!~

Was planning to sleep at airport while waiting for transit at the other day morning, but finally we caught a bus to Lan Kwai Fong Street (after asking around people in airport where is appropriate to be visited at this late midnight) which is quite similar to Shibuya in Japan or Bangsar in Malaysia, place of pubs and drunk people.

Along the way, we passed Kowloon, Wan Cai, Jordan Street and etc. So excited!! Those streets that appeared in Hong Kong drama finally came into my eyes and I was indeed walking on Lan Kwai Fong seeing those drunk people, and of cause tones of leng zai!!!! Ahh.. I am so obsessed!!

As a typical drama “chaser” (not follower, but chaser, because I always watch it once updated without any wasting of time.. haha..), the yellow and white light divider, red color taxi, friendly Hong Kong police, and REAL Cantonese-speaking intonation are visualized in front of me.. Ahh.. so happy!!~ ^o^

Yet, one thing I don’t quite really like is the manners of Hong Kong people. I am not sure is it due to my previous visiting to Japan (a country of very very good manner) or not, I felt Hong Kong people so ego.. They don’t really answer other’s question friendly.. Lagi, no free Wi-fi anywhere, even in McD, all need to pay!!

I took couple of photos along the way, do visit my facebook for more!!~

Waiting to depart to Vancouver now..

Keep in touch ya, friends!!~

Regards,

Lovely Yann Ni at Hong Kong

Dream

2009-12-23T15:31:00.004+08:00

What's your dream?

Actually I don't know mine, everyone told me that I have good plan in my life.. and ya, I only know how to plan my future so that I don't waste any single time but they are not my dream..

I feel so pathetic with myself because everyone seems to have their clear pathway and they do have the ability to pursue their dream..

I tried hard to look for my hobby and interest and it ended up nothing..

I am lost in my future, where shall I proceed?

I admired one of my friend whom decided to resign so that she would be able to have full time to go for her dream that buried in her heart for long time..

Is sad for someone that can't achieve their own dream but is more annoying if someone's doesn't know their own dream..

I guess I need to really talk to myself by doing some meditation in order to discover my dream..

One will visual his future if he have a dream..

Suddenly thought of one song..

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be?

Will I be pretty, will I be rich?

Here what she said to me..

Que Sera Sera

Whatever will be, will be..

The future not our to see..

Que Sera Sera

Whatever will be, will be..

---

Should I just let it be..?

恶魔

2009-12-22T16:28:00.001+08:00

我也不想这么称呼他。。

很多人告诉我，不管怎样，你身上还是留着他的血，这是不可改变的事实。。

其实我心里这么想，如果医生允许的话，我可以做一次手术，把身上的血都输出，再输入全新的血，完全与他无关的血。。

极端吗？

我想你们不明白我的处境。。

“比上不足，比下有余”，别人常对我说，比起那些强奸女儿的爸，他已经很好了。。

我尝试让自己这么想，但是真的不容易。。

当我试着遗忘他以往一切的一切时，他又屡屡做出些令人厌倦的事。。

太多。。太多的事。。

我无法一一让你们知道。。

我知道你们一定认为我不应该这么写，但是我真的绝望了。。

当我知道女神每每为他的所作所为而哭泣时，我很伤心。。

其实，我们五姐弟只有一个愿望。。

就如我大姐说的。。

“这么多年来，你没给我们些什么，现在只要你对妈好，其他的我们都不要求，我们都不需要了。。”

女神

2009-12-14T21:00:00.003+08:00

她，是五个孩子的妈。。

她，原本出身于富有家庭，却因封建的社会，被领养到家境稍微贫困的家庭。。

她，被迫在重男轻女的环境下，放弃了中学课业。。

她，曾经在扫把厂工作，曾经养猪，曾经骑过比人还高的过山摩托。。

她，靠着早市的咖啡档与面包档养活了五个孩子。。

她，在接近40岁时，分别学习了英文与钢琴，但最终因师资的缺乏及英文程度的不佳，而被迫放弃自己的兴趣，让自己的女儿替她完成她的愿望。。

她，外表严肃，却会不时说些让人会心一笑的冷笑话。。

她，虽然读的书不多，但是却教会了自己的女儿许许多多的大道理。。

她告诉他们，成绩不好不要紧，尽力了就好。。

她告诉他们，机会不是每个人都有，有就要把握。。

她告诉他们，认真地对待，用心地去看待每件事。。

她告诉他们，不要介意吃亏，刻苦耐劳会让自己获得更多。。

她告诉他们，她不会渴望，望子成龙，望女成凤，她只希望他们真真切切得活着。。

她告诉他们。。。

她不舍得在自己身上花几分钱来打扮自己，却愿意用支持自己的孩子买几百块的拖鞋，她认为只要女儿穿得舒服就好。。

他没多余的钱，却永远在金钱上支持孩子们的梦想。。

她有着许许多多令我佩服的地方。。

有人觉得我很厉害，可以周游列国，我却觉得她更胜一筹。。

有人觉得我很倔强，我却觉得她更坚强。。

有人觉得我很努力，我却觉得她更辛勤。。

我有许许多多的偶像与欣赏的对象，但是她却是我最终的典范。。

想到她如果有离去那一天，我也会了结自己的生命。。

亏欠她太多，想偿还她的也数不尽。。

希望在自己的有生之年，可以让她感到幸福，感到骄傲，自己再辛苦也无所谓。。

Flight ticket

2009-12-10T15:41:00.003+08:00

The whole incident happened like this...

I was "nominated" by yen to settle the flight ticket since I will be in KL earlier while he travelling around Sarawak to speed up our progress.

We planned to look for travel agent, place reservation and make payment on 1-3 Dec when Yen reached.

I found one travel agent. I was talking to one junior officer initially I believed regarding my requirement of flight tickets. Then, he said he needs time to look for it. So, i left the agency and went to Low Yat to fix my laptop. After that, I went back to the agency. When reached, a guy was sitting beside the junior officer and he offered me his help. I told him he (the junior officer) will settle for me. Yet, he told me he(junior officer) was doing something for him, so he could help me on what I want.

The story begin, I told him everything I want, no China airline, no cheap airline, flight before christmas, and bla bla bla.. Then he told me, what for you travel on christmas, fare is expensive and nothing to celebrate during christams, everyone is in their home gathering. And he couldn't get a desired (shortest time) flight for me before christmas, he told me is full.

Therefore, we make a decision to have the flight on 30 Dec till 30 May with cathay pacific. I told him I will come to the office to make payment the day after straight away with yen. But, he told me no need to rush. He will look for the best flight for me. Payment can be done later by banking in.

And so for few days later...

I called and sms.. called and sms..

He told me he is working on it.. ask me to wait so that he could find the best way..

I got a bit impatient, so do Yen. I told yen if he didn't give us the final answer before 7 Dec, we will look for another travel agency.

I lied to him that the due date of the university is 6 Dec. He need to give me a final say on 7 Dec.

He did reply but with the flight ticket of nearly RM10,000 and again he said give him few more days, he wanna look for alternative, maybe Philippine airline. I didn't tell him anything, but I told yen to look for others already.

Then he email me on 8 Dec, with the cost of flight ticket around RM 10,000 per pax.

In the evening, he sms me and asked me on the travel insurance, I said yes and he sent me another email at night of the other day which is 9 Dec. Another new price of flight ticket which is higher.

And so, I told yen about this. We decided not to take this travel agent's offer because yen found one cheaper which only cost Rm7200. We made decision to get this.

Then today, the travel agent called me. He told me the duplication in booking happened. He said he had made payment (RM3000 - partially)on behalf of us. We shouldn't cancel his booking.

(One thing to mention, booking and payment is 2 different things, you can book without payment, and that's what we want the travel agent to do for us, then we pay to the travel agent to confirm our buying)

So what shall I do?

Cancel his side or ignore him?

Discussed with yen. He is settling with him and I am hand down writing my blog to tell you this incident.

Which side to be blamed?

Me?

Him?

I don't know. I don't want to know.

I just felt I am bit worst. Can't even settle one thing properly.

Responsibility

2009-12-07T15:04:00.002+08:00

Been asked to complete few tasks in this holiday...

Tiring cause everything is so unfamiliar, i gotta look for it one by one..

When things do not turn out as expected, others doubt on your capability..

I don't like the feeling.

I have tried my best to deal, but demands from others drive me crazy..

Perhaps you should handle it so that everything is of your desired outcome..

Responsibility isn't easy to bear especially when you are under great expectation by others.

Don't you think so?

Friend

2009-12-02T19:57:00.005+08:00

When yen came KL these few days, I realized friends really play a very important role in one's life.

This langkawi boy was capable to meet up with bunch of friends for dinner, movie and chit chatting even just few days here, of cause that includes staying for free. Really impressed me honestly!

I don't know. I maybe don't have that type of friend. Maybe I do have, but I don't know. After some thinking, I came out with a conclusion. I think it might be due to the ways we treated our friend.

To be frank, if my friend were to ask me out for gathering, I would definately reject it, yam cha was a time wasting activity for me once upon a time. I always thought that the repeated and boring questions thrown by friends (e.g. how are u recently? working or studying? how many years to go for study? wat course are u persuing now? and bla bla bla.. i believe these questions are quite familiar to everyone) during gathering are meaningless because they might forget about it and kept asking the next time. They asked this time just to continue the topic and not to let the environment gone cold but not truly concern on u, so wat's the point being asked and answered, right?

I don't know since when, I realized the connection between everyone is so important. The feeling hits much earlier than the arrival of yen in KL, but of cause his arrival impacted more. Even for boring questions, they do actually tighten the bonding between each other. By seeing each other face to face, the relationship goes better. Yea, I cannot deny that Facebook is good in connecting but I don't think it is effective in enhance the intimacy. Don't u think so?

I am now working on to "reform" the bondingsssss. I hope my friends do forgive me about my "fong fei gei" last time during gathering. I promise I will attend each and every single gathering or yam cha section if I am free. So, please call me out! I am in KL now..

回忆

2009-12-01T16:31:00.002+08:00

最近开始想念和你们在一起的日子。。。

看到警察时，大伙儿很慌张的找安全带。。
为了美食，为了庆祝，不惜一切的北上，在车上叽叽喳喳的聊天的路程。。
大家在车上大大声地唱着不一样的歌的旅程，势必要让对方唱错调，然后被自己欠着走。。就是在吵吵嚷嚷的时刻，激发了湘和欣的唱歌实力。。
在晚上谈心，聊八卦的日子。。
为了作业，熬夜的日子。。
一起午餐，晚餐的日子。。
在泰国的点点滴滴。。

嗯，回忆真的很美，不知道是不是老了，常常会想起以往的一切。。我会带着这些回忆到另一个国度，让它陪伴着我渡过无数个寂寞的夜。。

Shocking result..

2009-11-26T10:16:00.004+08:00

Do you believe that IQ can actually increase with ur academic level?

Being so free recently until I tried out those available iq test in the net. I get a score of around 120-125.

Is tat a good result? Here is the analysis..

From some webpage:

Lewis Terman (1916) developed the original notion of IQ and proposed this scale for classifying IQ scores:

Over 140 - Genius or near genius

120 - 140 - Very superior intelligence

110 - 119 - Superior intelligence

90 - 109 - Normal or average intelligence

80 - 89 - Dullness

70 - 79 - Borderline deficiency

Under 70 - Definite feeble-mindedness

Further analysis:

High IQ & Genius IQ
Genius IQ is generally considered to begin around 140 to 145, representing ~.25% of the population (1 in 400). Here's a rough guide:

115-124 - Above average (e.g., university students)
125-134 - Gifted (e.g., post-graduate students)
135-144 - Highly gifted (e.g., intellectuals)
145-154 - Genius (e.g., professors)
155-164 - Genius (e.g., Nobel Prize winners)
165-179 - High genius
180-200 - Highest genius
>200 - "Unmeasurable genius"

Statistic:

The properties of the normal distribution apply to IQ scores:

50% of IQ scores fall between 90 and 110

70% of IQ scores fall between 85 and 115

95% of IQ scores fall between 70 and 130

99.5% of IQ scores fall between 60 and 140

Supposingly as an undergraduate, I need to get a score around 115-124, but I am 125. haha.. i guess I am above my level. Not only that, with the effort of exercising those quizes and tests, I managed to increase my IQ to 140 today. Haha.. (as u can see from the badge at the right hand side). So I am genius now!!

Try it out, guys. U might get shocking result too. I know it might not be that accurate, but at least, I am happy with it. Hehe..

2012

2009-11-13T22:50:00.002+08:00

A lot of people told me 2012 is going to be the end of the world, even the one.fm (my favorite radio station now!) was asking the audience during the air time on their opinion of this. What do you think about it?

One of my friend told me before, her bf went to the temple and listen to the talk given by monk, they predicted 2012 is the end of the world, and she also told me in Al-Quran stated the same thing too. To be frank, I never study on the aforementioned religions that deep, that's why I can't comment much. Then, my friend told me she is kinda worry and afraid of the arrival of 2012.

As for me, I got no any particular feeling on the end of the world. If it comes, just let it be.

After watching the movie 2012, it reconfirmed my stand. I guess I won't be the same as what hero and heroin did in the movie, try hard to run away from the disaster and striving hard to catch up the flight to save them from the disaster. Some even say that why not enjoying the great tsunami or blasting of volcano scenery before dying like what the local DJ did at the last moment in the movie.

If I were in the situation, I will grab my child (if I do have one) and drive aggressively (as in the movie) and rush to my mum's house.

Holding her hand and let her know that if there's a karma. I wish I will be her daughter again because being a child of her is the biggest happiness in my life.

You?

Try this..

2009-11-05T20:38:00.004+08:00

A sudden thought..

I got my hp and typed this sms..

--------------------------------------------------

HalOooo..

Wan 2 tel u..

Actuali..

Duno how 2 say..

Duno i shud tell onot..

Hope u will b ok..

U noe wat..

Dun tel others. K?

Just 2 kacau u..

Haha..

------------------------------------------------

and i forwarded it to quite a number of my friends and my sis..

believe me.. it won't be that childish as u think..

my intention was just to bright up their day initially and it ends up both parties happy with the joke..

Of cause i was scolded as crazy fella lor.. but i enjoyed..

That's why i have a great mood today!! yeah yeah..

Try it.. anyone will do..

I recommend you guys to send this on those friend whom lose contact for years..

Let them know u still remember them..

Get back the connection.. Don't let it flush away by time..

英年早逝 (Die in the early age if you are genius)

2009-11-04T13:33:00.005+08:00

I used to tell my friends that I think I will die in the early age.. and no doubt because I think I am genius.. =P..

To be frank, I amazed by myself of what I had been through and I am glad who am I now.

I tried to ran away from home just to avoid scolding by my mum.

I tried to rebut teacher with bad-manner in front of the class just to defend myself.

I tried to play snooker at the smooky gangster center at the mid-night time just to spend time after yamcha section.

I tried to joy ride with my friend around the housing area and horning aloud just to have fun in disturbing others.

I tried to join my friend in a car of speed 160km/h at a narrow highway, drifting and cornering and bumped into a car with no injury (Thank god!).

*** Maybe some of you might think that that's a small case if compared to you. I welcome you to share your treachery moment with me over here.

Well, of cause I am not trying to convey a message that able to do that is a genius, but others factors will do.

The feeling came when I were in Japan. To be honest, never thought that I would have a chance to be in that place. Even for now, listen to the radio reporting news about Tokyo, Shibuya, Asakusa, etc, I felt so unreal. Then I told myself, yea I had been there. In Japan, a foreign land, I found myself so tiny. I realized things really happen out of imagination. You will believe that everything is possible if you once outstation.

I had a lot of lapsus during my young days. Yet, I am proud of those days. Again, I am not trying to say that those days were good, but I am glad I had been through before. At least, I was a bad girl before.

I am happy with my life now.

Not the top student but at least my test and exam are because of my own effort and not peeping other's answer.

Not the most famous student but at least someone called me "Idol" when I bumped into her.

Not the most beautiful in the campus but at least I think I am the prettiest among my siblings (hehe.. jie.. dun angry!!)

Not the most gratulate among all but at least I have a bunch of friends whom evidence my growth throughout the 3years time.

Not the richest but at least this condition trained me how to save money...

Still got a lot to tell. But it's time for me to chase for my RM28,000.

Just wanted to tell everyone, appreciate who you are.

请你恨我

2009-10-23T23:29:00.002+08:00

他写了这么一段。。

"我知道你想什么。你只是怕跟自己良心过意不去。你放心，我很好。祝你能得到你希望的。也不用烦，因为你不用再见到我了。我只是你生活中的一只蚂蚁，很快就会忘了。

不需知道我该后的日子是怎样，我会时时想着你，因为我会恨你很久。"

如果你真得这么认为，我不想解释了。。

如果恨我，可以让你过得好一点。。

请你恨我吧！！

Polymer

2009-10-23T18:02:00.002+08:00

I believe most of the polymer students heard about the hottest gossip recently for our course.. yes.. some lecturers doubted and complained on the quality of polymer students, not only our batch, but from 1st year till 4th year. In order to defend us and clear off these ridiculous slander, our programme chairman, i.e. my academic advisor, Dr. Azlan requested us to have a presentation and invited few panel judges to evaluate our performance. This is the reason why all the polymer 4th year kept on wearing formal shirt these days.

Back to the point, why we were complained? (the "we" here represents all polymer students) After some korek and snooping, finally we got our answer. This is the statement I got from one of the polymer lecturer..

"Yalar.. dia orang complain polymer students pull down the overall performace.."

"Har? Dr.. kita macam mana pull down dia orang punya performance?"

"Kan ada orang yang ambil course bahan sebagai elective? Dia orang cakap polymer yang selalu tak perform dan pull down overall marks.."

"Dr.. suruh dia orang bandingkan result lar.. siapa yang pull down performance?"

"Tat's y.. kita (polymer lecturer) pun hairan, dah suruh office buat statistic atas markah bagi course-course tertentu.."

"aiyo, dr.. kenapa dia orand macam ni?"

"itulah, saya pun tak faham."

"dr, i rasa macam ni tau.. polymer terlalu specifik.. material course is wide.. sama concept dengan doctor biasa dan specialist.. nak dapat seorang doctor senang, tapi nak dapat satu specialist, susah kan? kitalah specialist! Apa yang kita study tu sangat dalam, dari processing sampai structure, die design pun ada, tapi material touch on the surface saja.. dia orang faham sini sikit, sana sikit dah boleh score markah tinggi, mana aceh!!"

"yaya.. betul betul.. tapi dia orang tak tau"

"kita selalu ditindas lar.. dr! even school punya nama pun tak ada "polymer".. baik kita keluar dari skol bahan buat skol polymer sendiri, tak payah lar kena tindas!"

"masalah nya, timbalam naib canselor tak suka polymer, dia nak everything green green saja"

"dr, kita kena explain, sekarang kita tak buat traditional plastic lagi, yang kita research tu semua degradable, non-toxic, bio-compatible, kita study traditional plastic untuk tau concept je.. sekarang assignment, presentation semua pun dah masuk trend degradable, kan?"

"betul, tapi susah lar.. lecture kita baru 11, material ada 20 lebih, nak cakap pun suara kurang sikit.."

That's the conversation between me and one of the polymer lecturer (her name will remain secret). Of cause, i knew who are the lecturers that condemn us. More annoying is that, few of the polymer students that took one of the lecturer's elective subject scored the highest mark for assignment, all material students still far left behind. Yet, he still complained on our performance, sarcastic!!

I told my coursemates (i mean all 4th year students) after I had the conversation with that polymer lecturer..

"Kita dah dipandang rendah oleh orang lain, kita tak boleh buat apa-apa sebab tu mulut dia orang, yang kita boleh buat sekarang ialah prove kepada dia orang kita boleh.. "

"Saya tidak suka ditindas, saya tak harap coursemates saya ditindas juga"

"Jadi, boleh tak kita bekerjasama menjayakan presenation ini untuk menunjukkan keupayaan kita?"

The presentation is over, but the result still remain unknown. I haven't got my chance to ask my academic advisor about that but I believe some of the groups did captivate the heart of the panel.

So, juniors.. please stand up!! For us, only one semester to go, we have tried our best and we will continue to fight in the next semester.. You guys still got chance to shut up their mouth, so please do me a favour to make them regret of what they have said!

Network Marketing

2009-10-21T00:18:00.003+08:00

There are quite a number of people that seek for the advice from me whether to join or not to join a network marketing company.

I believe network marketing is nothing new as it spreads real fast due to the concept of "mouth-to-mouth" business.

Allow me to explain a bit on the concept of network marketing to take care of those that still got no clue about what network marketing is. Network marketing is actually quite similar to direct sales, they used "people" as their advertisement tool. For direct sales (e.g. Amway, Elken, etc), they are product-approached whereby network marketing (e.g. SYN, QuestNet, etc)is more on business-approached. It means, for those who involve in network marketing, they will look for "business partner" instead of "customer" to buy their product. The more the "business partner" you look for, the more earning you got, and of cos the distribution is based on the "business plan" of particular company. During the seeking of "business partner", you are indirectly helping the company to make advertisement. In the same time, your "business partner" will need to buy some product from the company in order for them to start the "business", and this is how the company generates income.

Ok..Back to the story, why people look for me?

Yes, I was in one of the network marketing company before, i.e. QuestNet.

You are right, is a WAS..

Firstly, many people will look down on those that joined this kind of business because they think this business is not going to work. Yet, I can tell you, it really works regardless of the company.

So why did I quit?

The problem is not I did not gain back my capital or I failed to get "business partner", but due to some personal problem..

My journey of network marketing started during 1st year 2nd sem. When I first heard about the business, I was really excited because finally I found something that can help me to generate side-income with a easy way (i.e. telling others about the business and let others join you). That's the time I called my friend to borrow me RM2000 to start my business in QuestNet. Within 1 months, I got back my capital with extra money. Yes, what I did was only telling one friend per day and I got my "business partnerss".

So, you see? Is as easy as this.

Till now, I still haven't answer on that question. Why did I quit?

Now, here's the answer. I think I lost myself in the business. Whenever I saw people, I only think of money. I approached them, made friend with them, talked with them just for the sake to "recruit" them in my business. Nothing much. I will even humiliate those that back-mouth on us for doing this kind of business.

Sooner and later, I found out other than money and business, I left nothing. No true friendship, no true conversation. Very pathetic. Some internal problem happened in my network finally push me to make the decision to quit.

Others used to ask me. "Do you regret in joining?"

My answer is "A big NO..."

The most precious lesson I had in my life all came from this business. Forget about those techniques and training that they provided for me to understand human psychology, the powerful presentation skill, the tired-less enthusiasm in doing everything, etc, they taught me how to become someone better.

I lost a lot of friends along the way but I also gained a lot of experience and thoughts. I am very glad I am who I am now. Without the business, I might be still as ego as I used to during my pre-U studies. Without the business, I might still isolate myself in the room. Without the business, I might still think that I myself is the best in the world. Without the business...

So "Will I join the same business again?"

I don't have the exact answer right now because I realized I prefer working and earning little income yet I feel contented. Anyway, if happened to be a great person ask me to join his/her business and he/she possessed a lot of great things that I can learn from him/her, I might involved again because the ultimate purpose for me to join this kind of business will not be the money again, but the things that I could learn from my partner.

So this is the advice I used to give to my friends。

I think every business, every company has its own benefit in terms of generation of income, meaning each company or any business plan will be good. It should not be the major factor for you to consider in order to join the business, but the leader/partner that you are going to follow. He/She reliable? He/She responsible?

If you think he/she is, then go for it because you will lose nothing. Trust me.

P/S: Hopefully my post over here does not offend my friends whom currently still involved in network marketing. The aforementioned is just my little opinion after one year of joining. Feel free to comment but I wish is not aggressive one because my intention is just to share but not to critic. Thank you.

yann ni's **discLosuRe** secret...

2012, for me

My one week in KL

27-Aug-2011

Last update before 25 years old

给妈妈最好的礼物

Transition stage

I'm Single.

第三者

Luck

For you, ZiMin..

Today is Saturday..

Is all about Civilization!

Immature

Where're my friends?

Here I am again..

About getting married

JIMUI ROCKZ!

Sappy songs

Black out

Looking Back..

...

Mood of us

Doubt!

Butterfly Far away..

I've to say..

In all things it is better to hope than to despair

Are you appreciating?

About him..

Grey Zone

Compare..

中华危机

I'm tired

深夜

是泪还是雨..

初恋红豆冰 Iced Kacang Puppy love

Bus in Penang..

End of the journey..

Goodbye!

It's more blessed to give than to receive 施比受更有福

Home..

真真假假 (Truth?)

Farewell..

Just to let you know..

Psytopic

Culture Shock

Something different

Grief

另一个她

Katak di bawah tempurung - Like frog underneath coconut shell

Future

Mistake..

将心比心 - stand in other's shoes

Another Her..

昨天, 今天 == yesterday, today

Here I am..

雪战

受伤害。。

这样的生活

Business Reseach Analysis

面面俱到

细水长流..

Kissed by her..

About Canadian

团聚

Crazy Day

Business, Type A & hobby

Lecturer

有头发边个想做癞痢？

Self introduction

I am pissed again..

Tiny

自大..

Unbelievable

~Hong Kong~

Dream

恶魔

女神

Flight ticket

Responsibility

yann ni's discLosuRe secret...